It is not an easy task to transform flesh into light, matter into spirit. But I strongly believe that this is the task we are now engaged in here on this plane. Many of us volunteered long before we came in to dedicate our bodies and our lives to this purpose and now we are honoring that commitment.
This process is the true evolution of the species, the progression onto a higher level of being, the lifting of consciousness to less dense, more delicate levels of awareness.
This information (of the impending evolution of consciousness) was with us even in l981, the year I experienced awakening. Although kundalini was not much talked about at that time, writers like Teihard de Chardin, Sri Aurobindo, and--more recently--William Irwin Thompson all had predicted the transformation of consciousness now taking place widespread over planet Earth. And theory has now become fact, for we are in the midst of the transition.
During the course of my journey, I have experienced many confirmations of this process. I have had countless experiences of ecstasy, innumerable episodes of pain, in an endless cycle of death (to the old) and renewal (into the new mode of being). And I have known that mine was not a personal journey, but part of a wider, indeed universal, process occurring across the planet. We are indeed moving to the next level in the process of spiritual ascension.
On Sunday night I attended the kirtan ceremony presented by Kabir and friends as I described above and there I was again filled with ineffable ecstasy. Ecstasy is not sex per se but it has an exquisite, somewhat erotic tone that is irresistible. This is the time that god comes as the Beloved Within; it is the moment of divine union. And it is the means by which we are lifted to a higher level, one which includes universal love and compassion as well as inner joy.
It was a beautiful evening. But--next day (yesterday)I was stricken when my old bete noir--intense stomach pain associated with hiatal (esophageal) hernia-- returned. Suddenly I was thrown into acute suffering, for which I could discover no convincing cause. Was it what I had eaten for breakfast or lunch? Had I somehow twisted my body as I got on and off the city buses and thus thrown the hernia our of place? I had not carried anything heavy (a common trigger). I had not tried any of the special breathing practices that often (for me) seem to throw the organs out of alignment. Had I turned my body the wrong way in doing my morning stretching exercises? Nothing offered a plausible answer.
And then I reflected that since I arrived here six weeks ago I had experienced much gentle pleasure and joy of being, but no intense highs of the ecstatic moment. Neither had I had any physical ailments plaguing my body. So, I wondered, does this mean that I can go along living a flat line life, with no peaks or valleys to punctuate the relative calm, and so enjoy a happy but somewhat lacklustre life, but that episodes of passion and excitement are off limits unless I want to invite equivalent suffering as the price I pay for transcendence?
I thought perhaps I might have to go to a doctor (goddess forbid!) if this pain continued, and even wondered if it could be an indication of a heart attack. And then a voice within counseled, "You have a doctor inside," and I began to feel gentle sweet energies move in my arms and hands.
So I began to do very subtle energy movements, directing them to various parts of my body, and what happened next went beyond any experience yet. These energies were, yes, even higher, even more subtle, even more precious than any I have ever felt before. I moved (physically) hardly at all, yet each tiny motion of hand or body sent thrills of exquisite (but soft, oh, so gentle) ripples of bliss here and there. I felt my aura--finally extended my arms as far out from the body as they could reach, and each time sensed the indescribable bliss of the delicate outlines. This was a new level, a plane well beyond anything I had known previously, the wondrous vibrations of the light body revealed in its fullness (or at least as much of its fullness as I could receive.) It was an ultimate gift.
And it was then that I realized that what was happening (my stomach distress) was not just some deficiency in my ability to balance new energies, that it was part of the much larger process going on within each of us. We are indeed receiving infusions of energies far, far beyond what we have experienced or imagined before, and each such infusion requires a major balancing within--something like the "healing crisis" that sometimes occurs after massage or energy treatments from human healers. We must flush out and transform the old to prepare our systems to cope with the new.
The process of human evolution is not simple. We have not signed up for an easy ride. We will--again and again--be carried up to new heights of ecstatic bliss, of wonder, and we will, over and over, experience deep pain, more, often, than we think we deserve or can bear. But each episode will awaken us to new possibilities of feeling and new awareness of just how much is possible. We are, in fact, moving into (and in fact already are) our light bodies, matter illumined by divine spirit, flesh transformed into god.
When I was experiencing inner initiation (now over 25 years ago) I was give my new name--it was Bodhidharma, the great master who brought Buddhism to China so many centuries ago. Now I did not interpret this to mean I was the reincarnation of this great master (although I at times I feared that might be the case and then what would I do?). Rather, I thought of the meaning of the sanskrit that translates as "truth speaker." It is not easy to speak one's truth aloud, but this is the time for all of us to confess what we truly believe at the deepest levels, no matter what the world at large may think.
(Picture from Hubble website)