Kundalini Splendor

note: I will be offline for the next two weeks--time to visit San Francisco again (plus Monterey). I'll be back in early March.
Be well and enjoy the coming days.


Lucille Clifton, one of our wisest and most beloved poets, died recently. Here is one of her poems:


we are running

running and
time is clocking us
from the edge like an only
daughter.
our mothers stream before us,
cradling their breasts in their
hands.
oh pray that what we want
is worth this running,
pray that what we,re running
toward
is what we want.

Lucille Clifton

Today, I discovered a valuable website at http://www.lovebliss.eu/Kundalini.htm

This site is from Jan Esmann, who is from Copenhagen and who himself experienced self-realization through Kundalini awakening at an early age. Although I do not necessarily agree with every single observation in the excerpt below, the writings he offers present much food for thought, and help us to understand more fully the workings of Kundalini--which he describes as "Like having sex with God," and indeed, this comes close to how the experience can at times feel.

Kundalini

Kundalini is love-bliss. Without kundalini, there will be no love-bliss in your life. It is that simple. There may be much love and bliss in a common sense, but the divine love-bliss will never be yours until kundalini reaches the brain.

In every human being there is a divine energy called Kundalini. It lies coiled up in the root chakra just above the perineum. Kundalini is in three states: the common dormant state, the aroused state and the rare awakened state. When kundalini is dormant, one's spiritual understanding is restricted, and everything is perceived and interpreted according to a mundane and selfish perspective. When kundalini is aroused, it gives a sudden temporary state of spiritual insight and spiritual energy, but it is not stable. Only the awakened kundalini gives stable transformations of consciousness.

Kundalini is the energy (Shakti) of the Self in a restricted form. As the awakened kundalini unfolds, restrictions fall off and spiritual insight and freedom arises.


The chakras and ascent of Kundalini from Shivananda's book "Kundaliniyoga"

"Kundalini and Self-realization

In terms of kundalini, ignorance of the Self is characterized by kundalini being stuck in the lowest chakra, slightly above the perineum. However, you can apparently reach Self-realization without awakening kundalini; this state is nothingness-being, or Pure Being, and it has no love-bliss, it is usually described as being void, or nothing. It is not quicker to reach Self-realization without Shakti, as one might assume, on the contrary it is a faster path to surrender to both Pure Being as well as Shakti and the enlightenment one reaches will be of a different kind than if one ignores Shakti.

The rising of kundalini

Kundalini needs to rise inside the spine, and this is its natural course. As it progresses upwards various experiences and states will emerge. Usually kundalini rises in a fraction of its total amount, like only a few percent at a time, but sometimes the entire energy leaves the lowest chakra and enters the spine. When this happens it feels exactly like a snake entering the spinal column through the gap between the lowest back vertebrae and the sacral bone. It enters not from the sacral bone, but from the front. Hence dormant kundalini is not located inside the spine or sacral bone, but rather just above the perineum. This "snake" is about half as thick as your little finger and about 12 cm's long. When it happens you will experience a state of bliss so intense nothing compares to it; it is like having sex with God.

Kundalini may partially or fully rise from the lowest chakra and become very active in the body, but if it does not reach the heart chakra, there will not be much spiritual benefit in this. It may even be a scary experience if you don't understand and respect, what is going on. There is in reality nothing to be scared about since the energy will by itself fall down and rest after a while if one just leaves it alone.

Divine love and love-bliss as kundalini rises

When kundalini reaches the heart chakra you will experience divine love, but it is not yet supreme love-bliss. In fact true love-bliss will only come when kundalini enters the brain and Shakti merges with Pure Being. If kundalini rises fully or partially to the throat chakra, or above, you will begin to experience blissful samadhi.

Some reject kundalini and love-bliss with respect to Pure Being and Self-realization, because they think kundalini is a kind of relative force and that love-bliss is a kind of emotion. But kundalini is Pure Shakti and Shakti is One with Pure Being. Pure Being and Shakti are not two sides of a coin, they are one and the same. One may reach Self-realization and only know Pure Being without the Shakti. But such a realization will sooner or later change to integrate Shakti also and as that happens, one will merge with love-bliss. Shakti is love-bliss. It is not that love-bliss is a sign or symptom of Shakti, Shakti and love-bliss are One. So the full enlightenment, not just realizing the Self as Pure Being, is a Oneness of Pure Being, Shakti and love-bliss. So while Self-realization is the common factor, there are kinds of enlightenment: The basic kind is Pure-Being-Nothingness without Shakti and love-bliss, the more advanced kind is Pure Being-Shakti-love-bliss. The first kind has no direct effect on other people, since it is all within the enlightened one, but the second kind comes with the gift of being able to pull others into Self-realization and awaken their kundalini, so they too will reach the highest soon. This gift is known as shaktipat."

(Now from Dorothy):
The site includes as well a fascinating account of Jan's own ongoing awakening through the years, and meditation exercises to awaken and enhance Kundalini.

I am always interested in those who describe Kundalini as a "snake" that rises up the spine. The writer above even gives the actual dimensions of the snake. My own awakening was quite different, and indeed, this form, though rare, is described in certain of the ancient texts. My energies first awakened in the root/second chakras and then shot almost instantaneously into the crown, which then opened to receive the divine energies from above. I find that each Kundalini opening is unique, and follows its own path. But all may lead( sooner or later) to love-bliss, which itself may be experienced in differing degrees of intensity and feeling.

This author,like many others, says that the energies must first reach the heart before reaching the brain, the center where ultimate bliss awakens. Again, my own experience is different from this. At the moment of awakening, the bliss-energies shot into the brain and the opening was indeed one of acute bliss, "like a thousand petals opening." It was some time thereafter that I experience the true opening of the heart, in an ecstasy that was "almost more than I could bear."

Today I felt some "love-bliss" during my practice, but it was quite mild in comparison to earlier times. It felt like soft light playing over my arms and face as I moved slowly before my Tongka of Buddha. I was actually "stroking my aura," that is to say, stroking my flesh from about 3 or 4 inches away. Was this experience one of Kundalini--or some other form of bliss, such as chi energy moving delicately through? Does it matter? Each experience is different, and each person experiences differently from others.

One thing I especially like about the excerpt above is its explanation of Self-Realization without Shakti (somatic bliss) and Self-Realization with bliss. The former is the state many enter when they feel total loss of self-awareness and become One with the ineffable. No bliss as a feeling state is involved, though the practitioner may describe the experience as "bliss consciousness." In the latter (feeling) state, the bliss itself is the realization of Oneness with Divinity.

Personally, I feel fortunate to be able to enter the love-bliss state in whatever form, for this seems to me to be the ultimate condition of the mortal striving to taste heaven.

(Image is from the cover of Ajit Mookerjee's invaluable book "Kundalini: The Arousal of the Inner Energy.")

Steelhead Valentine

Every year on Valentine's Day I celebrate the return of the steelhead, Oncorhynchus mykiss (their species name). Mykiss--what could be more perfect?

Whether the run is late or early, on Valentine's Day they are always in the river, thrusting upstream, in the laguna, in the creeks, heading home in an ecstatic urgency, driven back to their natal beds to spawn. If you watch the creeks in patient silence you will see them. If you listen at night, you will hear them leaping, slapping cradles in the gravel bars.

They are here right now, as you read this--a thread of the culture of this place that stitches you to the people who came before you, just as they stitch the land to the sea, returning nutrients with their very bodies. The carcasses of those that die feed critters all the way up the food chain--that osprey flying overhead a month from now, those river otters I saw last year up at Fitch Mountain.

When you reach for your beloved, think of them. Half in air, he stutters across shallows, rushing to reach her. Veiled in dark water, she glides over the gravel. They are dancing when your hands entwine. He circles over her back. They weave the water in figure eights. She turns on her side, a rainbow through rain.

To hold them in you heart is to value an old companion. To hold them in your heart is to keep clean cold water in our creeks. To hold them in your heart is to protect our streams from toxins and sediment, to keep our hills forested, to restore our urban waterways.

Once by streamside with my lover, we saw a steelhead fly up from the froth of a waterfall, fall back, leap again, fall back, leap again. Love and instinct. Without them, what would life be?

Elizabeth Carothers Herron

All I Had

What they appear to want
is a study.
An experiment with
so many of these,
so many of those,
carefully selected and matched,
who knows which was which.

It would of course
need to be replicable.
Otherwise,
how could it be believed
or verified,
readied for review
and publication.

There would have to be
strict controls.
Otherwise,
no one could measure
what happened,
how to interpret
the results.

And then I realized,
I could not qualify.
I had nothing to show,
no statistics,
no graphs,
no sheets of repeated
results.

All I had
was what had happened,
the great flash of light
that changed everything
in a single second,
the constantly burning fire,
the afterglow
like an ember
at the bottom of the dish.

Dorothy Walters
February 10, 2010

(image from National Geographic site)

What I Do

May what I do flow from me like a river.
Rilke

I am not sure if
it is a river,
or an ocean,
or a clear mountain stream
hurtling down the rocky decline

but whatever it is
keeps flowing forth,
sometimes in
a headlong gush,
sometimes contemplative
and still,

yet pouring, pouring,
unstoppable,
pure,
words manifesting
like the unsolved riddle
of protons
becoming mass,
light becoming matter,
god becoming word,
self becoming
her song.

Dorothy Walters
February 10, 2010

Announcement

I am going to build this house
over again,
only this time
I am going to use
sturdier material.

None of these old
second hand bricks
already cracked and worn
from so much lamenting
over things that
happened so long ago,
like stones I keep carrying
in my pocket,
souvenirs of ancient grief.
.
No more of those
burned over planks
that I retrieved once
from someone
else's construction
of who I was,
a façade and empty rooms
that I thought was
me.

I'll raise this dwelling
well sited and firm,
then seal it together
with mortar and tears,
the mortar
of all that I bring with me
from everywhere
I have traveled
in this journey
to where I am,
the tears not for
what I have lost,
but for all that has
been given,
what I am about to find.

Dorothy Walters
February 10, 2010

Falling

They said I was air and fire,
mixed.
But the truth is
I have been falling,
falling,
for so many years,
through air, through space,
single droplet caught
in the down rush
of water cascading down
the mountain,
arc of bird swooping
to the lake's shore.

All of this--
this descent,
this accelerated decline--
is part of the program,
set up for me
by stars in alignment,
planets opposed.

But what they forget
is that the
way down
is the way up,
light captured in matter,
to fall is to ascend.

Dorothy Walters
February 4, 2010

(Above image is "The Fire on Top", copyright Sibyl Archibald)

Recently, I discovered an amazing website from Sybil Archibald, a gifted artist/sculptor who understands the relationship of art and divine inspiration (literally, a breathing into), and the infusion of light into matter that occurs when art serves its highest spiritual purposes. Her many sculptures can be seen on her site, and she also has a Facebook page that contains more of her work as well as her moving interpretations of the creative process as guided by the Divine Artist.

Here is her blog site: http://www.sybilarchibald.com/blog/

In addition to her artwork, she includes poems from some of the major mystics and spiritual writers of various time periods, such as Rilke, Thomas Merton, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, and others.

Here is her Artist Statement

The roots of creativity are shrouded in mystery. They run deep into an eternal well brimming with the generative nature of the Divine.

The source of creativity is the source of everything. Through sculpture, etching & painting, I seek a pathway deep into that sacred well. I keep kinship with ancient mystics. While they sought God in visions, I seek the Divine in the creative process. This process, captured within a finished piece, resonates with light. Through my art, the human form becomes a nexus, a pivoting point between matter & spirit.

All things in this world are mirrors which reflect, however imperfectly, the Divine. Every time I create art I polish that mirror within myself and my work.

-Sybil Archibald


Imagine my delight and surprise when I found some of my own poems included among her entries. In especial, I was impressed by her interpretations of these poems, for the ones she chose spoke to her deeply in terms of her own spiritual journey. It is seldom that a poet encounters someone who not only resonates with the poems on a deep level, but who is able to articulate that connection so effectively. Thank you, Sybil. I am extremely honored.

Here are some of these poems, followed by Sybil's interpretations:





Tasting the Light

It will arrive suddenly,
when you are unaware.

It will come over you swiftly,
lightning flash
across a large surface of stone.

After everything has melted,
there will be the taste
of bronze and honeyed fruit,
burnt cinnamon,
something blue and electric in the air.
Dorothy Walters (from "A Cloth of Fine Gold")

This poem is about the Annunciatory Light, that deep connection to the Divine that fills you in an instant and changes your whole life. With it comes untold sweetness and Light but through great pain and destruction, or perhaps deconstruction, of your life.

Take for instance this poem, which tells the story of my life:

A Cloth of Fine Gold

You may think
that first lit flame
was the ultimate blaze,
the holy fire revealed.

What do you know
of furnaces?
This is a sun that returns
again and again, refining, igniting,
pouring your spirit
through a cloth of delicate gold
until all dross is taken
and you are sweet as
clarified butter
in god/the goddess’ mouth.

Dorothy Walters(from "A Cloth of Fine Gold")

(And from Sybil again): This next poem pinpoints my experience of my own vision of the Virgin Mary,my Annunciation, and my ensuing illness:

Preparing to Meet the Goddess
Do not think of her
unless you are prepared
to be driven to your limits,
to rush forth from yourself
like a ritual bowl overflowing
with sacramental wine.

Do not summon her image
unless you are ready to be blinded,
to stand in the flash
of a center exploding,
yourself shattering into the landscape,
wavering bits of bark and water.

Do not speak her name
until you have said good-bye
to all your familiar trinkets –
your mirrors, your bracelets,
your childhood adorations –
From now on you are nothing,
a ghost sighing at the window,
a voice singing under water.

Dorothy Walters (from "Unmasking the Rose: A Record of a Kundalini Inititation)

(from Sybil again): These poems make clear the paradox of the terrible rending of life that is at the same time a beautiful gift, like the healing wounds of the stigmata.

Our job is, like alchemists, to heal and rarify matter. We are made for that nexus point where Creator & creator merge into One. Where Spirit infuses matter, where Light penetrates dark, and where we embrace our status as scared wombs born to give birth to the Divine.

The following material is taken from http://youwantthis.org/Symptoms.html

It is, I believe, an accurate description of the process many of us are going through at this time, as our minds and bodies adjust to the new energies coming into the planet and ourselves just now. Many of you will recognize yourselves in these observations.

However, I want to make a couple of comments. First, the writer (apparently unknown) uses words such as "Christ consciousness" and "Christ-seed." While such language may not offend readers with a Christian background, those from different faith orientations may find it disturbing, and indeed feel that somehow they are being excluded from the conversation. I myself simply substitute the term "Divine" in these passages, as it is more universal in connotation.

And, useful as these observations are, they constitute a list of "negative" symptoms. We could also add a list of the "positive" symptoms of awakening, those responses that make the entire process exciting and profoundly worthwhile. Such indicators remind us why we are here. (Perhaps at a later time I will offer such a list.)



The symptoms of both Awakening and Ascension, along with their ensuing "gifts" are listed below for your awareness and understanding.

They are there to help you understand what your mind, body, heart and spirit may be feeling at this time, particularly the mind and body. Remember, you are not alone.

Remember, also, that this is a wonderful thing. This Evolutionary Leap in Consciousness is magnificent and glorious. It is "The Great Shift." We are bringing Heaven to Earth and it is miraculous.

It may be confusing and somewhat difficult at times for the the physical body and mind to comprehend, but Know that All Is Well.
We would like to Thank the original source of these symptoms below. We are not sure who created them in writing, but all who have or are currently "awakening and ascending" know the Truth that each holds, and it has brought great comfort and relief to those experiencing many, if not all, of the symptoms. Thank You.

Spiritual Awakening Symptoms

1. Body aches and pains, especially in the neck, shoulder and back. This is the result of intense changes at your DNA level as the "Christ seed" awakens within. This too shall pass.

2. Feeling of deep inner sadness for no apparent reason. You are releasing your past (this lifetime and others) and this causes the feeling of sadness. This is similar to the experience of moving from a house where you lived in for many, many years into a new house. As much as you want to move into the new house, there is a sadness of leaving behind the memories, energy and experiences of the old house. This too shall pass.

3. Crying for no apparent reason. Similar to #2 above. It's good and healthy to let the tears flow. It helps to release the old energy within. This too shall pass.

4. Sudden change in job or career. A very common symptom. As you change, things around you will change as well. Don't worry about finding the "perfect" job or career right now. This too shall pass. You're in transition and you may make several job changes before you settle into one that fits your passion.

5. Withdrawal from family relationships. You are connected to your biological family via old karma. When you get off the karmic cycle, the bonds of the old relationships are released. It will appear as though you are drifting away from your family and friends. This too shall pass. After a period of time, you may develop a new relationship with them if it is appropriate. However, the relationship will be based in the new energy without the karmic attachments.

6. Unusual sleep patterns. It's likely that you'll awaken many nights between 2:00 and 4:00 AM. There's a lot of work going on within you, and it often causes you to wake up for a "breather." Not to worry. If you can't go back to sleep, get up and do something rather than lay in bed and worry about humanly things. This too shall pass.

7. Intense dreams. These might include war and battle dreams, chase dreams or monster dreams. You are literally releasing the old energy within, and these energies of the past are often symbolized as wars, running to escape and boogiemen. This too shall pass.

8. Physical disorientation. At times you'll feel very ungrounded. You'll be "spatially challenged" with the feeling like you can't put two feet on the ground, or that you're walking between two worlds. As your consciousness transitions into the new energy, you body sometimes lags behind. Spend more time in nature to help ground the new energy within. This too shall pass.

9. Increased "self talk." You'll find yourself talking to your Self more often. You'll suddenly realize you've been chattering away with yourself for the past 30 minutes. There is a new level of communication taking place within your being, and you're experiencing the tip of the iceberg with the self talk. The conversations will increase, and they will become more fluid, more coherent and more insightful. You're not going crazy, you're just Shaumbra moving into the new energy.

10. Feelings of loneliness, even when in the company of others. You may feel alone and removed from others. You may feel the desire to "flee" groups and crowds. As Shaumbra, you are walking a sacred and lonely path. As much as the feelings of loneliness cause you anxiety, it is difficult to relate to others at this time. The feelings of loneliness are also associated with the fact that your Guides have departed. They have been with you on all of your journeys in all of your lifetimes. It was time for them to back away so you could fill your space with your own divinity. This too shall pass. The void within will be filled with the love and energy of your own Christ consciousness.

11. Loss of passion. You may feel totally disimpassioned, with little or no desire to do anything. That's OK, and it's just part of the process. Take this time to "do no-thing." Don't fight yourself on this, because this too shall pass. It's similar to rebooting a computer. You need to shut down for a brief period of time in order to load the sophisticated new software, or in this case, the new Christ--seed energy.

12. A deep longing to go Home. This is perhaps the most difficult and challenging of any of the conditions. You may experience a deep and overwhelming desire to leave the planet and return to Home. This is not a "suicidal" feeling. It is not based in anger or frustration. You don't want to make a big deal of it or cause drama for yourself or other. There is a quiet part of you that wants to go Home. The root cause for this is quite simple. You have completed your karmic cycles. You have completed your contract for this lifetime. You are ready to begin a new lifetime while still in this physical body. During this transition process, you have an inner remembrance of what it is like to be on the other side. Are you ready to enlist for another tour of duty here on Earth? Are you ready to take on the challenges of moving into the New Energy? Yes, indeed you could go Home right now. But you've come this far, and after many, many lifetimes it would be a shame to leave before the end of the movie. Besides, Spirit needs you here to help others transition into the new energy. They will need a human guide, just like you, who has taken the journey from the old energy into the new. The path you're walking right now provides the experiences to enable you to become a Teacher of the New Divine Human. As lonely and dark as your journey can be at times, remember that you are never alone.

Spiritual Ascension Symptoms


1. Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy; feeling stress. Remember, you are adjusting to a higher vibration and you will eventually adjust. Old patterns, behaviours and beliefs are also being pushed to the surface. There is a lot going on inside of you.

2. A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense of place. You are not in 3D anymore, as you have moved or in the process of moving into the higher realms.

3. Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. You are purifying and releasing blocked energy vibrating at 3D, while you are vibrating in a higher dimension.

4. Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. Much is going on in your dream state. You can't be there for long lengths of time and need a break. This is also the 'cleansing and releasing' hour.

5. Memory loss. A great abundance of short term memory loss and only vague remembrances of your past. You are in more than one dimension at a time, and going back and forth as part of the transition, you are experiencing a 'disconnect'. Also, your past is part of the Old, and the Old is forever gone. Being in the Now is the way of the New World.

6. 'Seeing' and 'hearing' things. You are experiencing different dimensions as you transition, all according to how sensitive you are and how you are wired.

7. Loss of identity. You try to access the Old you, but it is no longer there. You may not know who you are looking at in the mirror. You have cleared much of your old patterns and are now embodying much more light and a simpler, more purified divine you. All is in order, You are okay.

8. Feeling 'out of body'. You may feel as though someone is talking, but it is not you. This is our natural defence mechanism of survival when we are under acute stress or feeling traumatized or out of control. Your body is going through a lot and you may not want to be in it. My ascension guide told me that this was a way of easing the transition process, and that I did not need to experience what my body was going through. This only lasted a short time. It passes.

9. Periods of deep sleeping. You are resting from all the acclimating and are integrating, as well as building up for the next phase.

10. Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. Crowds, noise, foods, TV, other human voices and various other stimulations are barely tolerable. You also overwhelm very easily and become easily overstimulated. You are tuning up. Know that this will eventually pass.

11. You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period, 'rebooting'. Your body knows what it needs. In addition, when you begin reaching the higher realms, 'doing' and 'making things happen' becomes obsolete as the New energies support the feminine of basking, receiving, creating, self-care and nurturing. Ask the Universe to 'bring' you what you want while you are enjoying yourself and having fun.

12. An intolerance for lower vibrational things of the 3D, reflected in conversations, attitudes, societal structures, healing modalities, etc. They literally make you feel 'sick' inside. You are in a higher vibration and your energies are no longer in alignment. You are being 'pushed,' to move forward; to 'be' and create the New.

13. A loss of desire for food. Your body is adjusting to a new, higher state of being. Also, part of you does not want to be here anymore in the Old.

14. A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and residences. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better.

15. You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. When you try to do your usual routine and activities, it feels downright awful. You are evolving beyond what you used to be, and these people and surroundings no longer match your vibration. The New will soon arrive and feel so-o-o-o much better.

16. Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through intense restructuring.

17. A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood sugar. Weight gain, especially in the abdominal area. A craving for protein. You are requiring an enormous amount of fuel for this ascension process. Weight gain with an inability to loose it no matter what you do is one of the most typical experiences. Trust that your body knows what it is doing.

18. Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Our emotions are our outlet for release, and we are releasing a lot.

19. A wanting to go Home, as if everything is over and you don't belong here anymore. We are returning to Source. Everything is over, but many of us are staying to experience and create the New World. Also, our old plans for coming have been completed.

20. Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of some sort. You are rapidly experiencing several dimensions and greatly opening. Much is available to you now. You are just not used to it. Your awareness has been heightened and your barriers are gone. This will pass and you will eventually feel very at Home like you have never felt before, as Home is now here.

21. Anxiety and panic. Your ego is losing much of itself and is afraid. Your system is also on overload. Things are happening to you that you may not understand. You are also losing behaviour patterns of a lower vibration that you developed for survival in 3D. This may make you feel vulnerable and powerless. These patterns and behaviours you are losing are not needed in the higher realms. This will pass and you will eventually feel so much love, safety and unity. Just wait.

22. Depression. The outer world may not be in alignment with the New, higher vibrational you. It doesn't feel so good out there. You are also releasing lower, darker energies and you are 'seeing' through them. Hang in there.

23. Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. You are releasing many, many lifetimes of lower vibrational energy. Many are now reporting that they are experiencing beautiful dreams. Your dream state will eventually improve and you will enjoy it again. Some experience this releasing while awake. My mother commented one day that she believed I was having nightmares in the daytime.

24. Night sweats and hot flashes. Your body is 'heating' up as it burns off residue.

25. Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely different direction. Your soul is balancing out your energy. It usually feels great in this new direction, as your soul knows more than you do. It is breaking your 'rut' choices and vibration.

26. You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many 'worst nightmare' aspects to it. Your soul is guiding you into 'stretching' into aspects of yourself where you were lacking, or into 'toning down' aspects where you had an overabundance. Your energy is just balancing itself. Finding your way to peace through this situation is the test you have set up for yourself. This is your journey, and your soul would not have set it up if you weren't ready. You are the one who finds your way out and you will. Looking back, you will have gratitude for the experience and be a different person.

Note: Of course, not all of these symptoms can be attributed to the Ascension Process. Please follow your own inner guidance and consult a health care professional as needed.



(Above image is by my friend N. M. Rai--isn't it beautiful?)

This morning, as I was doing my morning meditation (standing, doing slight movements with my arms, all in front of my Buddhist thangka) I had an inner "vision". Before I started I had looked briefly at Ajit Mookerjee's beautiful book called "Kundalini: The Arousal of the Inner Energies," with its fascinating illustrations, for I knew that even glancing at such potent images could arouse my own bliss feelings. Then I began more or less to "daydream" about another way to increase the energies. I was thinking of my women's writing circle--we seem to share much in common as to our life paths and our spiritual natures. Indeed, we seem to be a "soul group." As I pondered this notion, an image floated in--I imagined that one of the group was standing directly behind me (say, two feet away) and the other three were lined up behind her, all of us experiencing sweet flowing bliss, currents that moved through one to another. Our formation thus was a triangle, with one person in the center and the others at the apex and base.

Soul groups are often thought of as small groups of like minded spirits who are drawn together in the "interims" to form a collective consciousness and shared energy field. (And you can belong to more than one such group.) What I was viewing in my inner vision was such a collective, almost as if we were practicing for some later stage when we would again participate in a similar group consciousness.

And then it came to me--what if angels (who often come in groups, rather than alone) themselves were arranged in such geometric patterns--triangles or squares or even spirals of energy--and thus their own energies were strengthened through their shared field? And--of course--the arrangement could vary (in the way that birds in flight sometimes shift the pattern of the group)as they wished.

And, finally, this notion reminded me of the curious behavior of the various unidentified objects so often described as moving in seemingly random, shifting patterns, which we often discern as lights blinking about their edges. Perhaps the UFO's are angels in disguise, dematerialized energy fields, moving through our "space," for purposes that are not clear.

What would happen if we too created such shared energy fields now, on this plane, while we are still on planet earth? I think our power to heal and bless might surprise us.

(Above image from http://www.crystalinks.com/soulgroup.html)

http://www.elcollie.com/st/issueone.html

In the early l990's I heard about a newsletter being pulished in Oakland by a woman who went by the name of "El Collie." This newsletter was devoted exclusively to the process of spiritual transformation, including in particular the then little known phenomenon of Kundalini Awakening. I was amazed and a bit incredulous. Nothing like this had appeared before. Yet there it was, a creation of a most remarkable woman who had herself undergone the "trial by fire" that was (for her) the experience of Kundalini awakening.

"Shared Transformation" was the given title, because in her publication she invited others to share their narratives and perspective with fellow journeyers on this obscure path. As she said, let us go through the process together.

El Collie left us some years back, but her writings are still available on the internet, due to the faithful efforts of her husband, Charles Kress, who generously put up her reflections and has kept them up on the web ever since.

El Collie was a brilliant writer and one of the most insightful and knowledgeable commentators to be found. I stil love to go back to her site and re-read her striking essays on the various aspects of Kundalini. She had prepared many chapters of a book, and these are also presented on the site.

I cannot urge you strongly enough to check out her work. It is an invaluable resource for all of us who are still pondering the nature of this mysterious process and how it might unfold for us all.

Here is an excerpt from the first newsletter, which sums up the purpose of this bold venture:

Shared Transformation Newsletter

By El Collie

The following is an excerpt from and about the Newsletter:

From 1993--2000, we published Shared Transformation newsletter to provide support, exchange information and explore experiences with those of us who are undergoing a phenomenal inner process. Considering that life is itself a transformational journey, in which we evolve inwardly and outwardly from birth to death, in the broadest sense, every one of us is engaged in some degree of transformation.

Our newsletter was specifically addressed to those invoin sudden and astonishing alterations of consciousness. These processes occur as spontaneous and often dramatic physical, mental, emotional, psychic and spiritual changes.

While they remain in the realm of the extraordinary, such experiences have been recorded in every culture of the world for thousands of years. Yet in recent times, from my own observations and from what I am hearing from others, it appears that we may be in the midst of a global shift in consciousness. Increasing numbers of people from around the world are finding themselves plunged into unexpected and mysterious processes. These range from sudden episodes of emotional catharsis to radical shifts in mental outlook. They may involve visions and revelations, or inexplicable and undiagnosed illness. Or they may take the form of paranormal encounters, psychic openings, or full blown Kundalini awakenings.

What is the purpose of these experiences? What are we transforming into? The vast literature on this subject offers many wondrous answers: physical and psychological well-being; expanded awareness of Self and cosmos; personal wholeness; internal and external harmony; union with the divine; greater capacities and richer life experience; bliss and vitality; and increased sensitivity, often with the development of psychic gifts or "siddhis".

Yet for those of us swept into the vortex of transformational forces, it's generally an uncertain and difficult process. Rather than feeling ourselves on the brink of a glorious rebirth, we may feel confused, fearful, sick, or crazy. We seem more like emotional and physical basket cases than candidates for enlightenment. We may swerve from feelings of awe and reverence to disgust and despair; from experiences of profound connectedness to stark alienation. Often we wonder if we will ever be fully functional in the world again. And we may seriously question how such strange and painful experiences can possibly be leading to anything worthwhile.

It can be deeply reassuring to realize that we are not alone in this process. And it can be encouraging to learn that many of the emotional, physical or psychic experiences that appear negative or frightening to us are a natural phase of transformation. Even the more mystical and magical aspects of the process become more real to us when we discover that others have had similar or identical experiences.lved

Through Shared Transformation, we want to offer such validation, inspiration, hope and encouragement to one another. A woman I know, having gone through a four and a half year intense Kundalini awakening with no clue of what was happening to her, announced emphatically, "No one should have to go through this alone." I think she's right. Let's reach out to one another, so we can go through it together.

© El Collie 1993

(Note: The opening sentences seem to look back on the time when the newsletter was in publication. Perhaps these comments are from Charles.)

(And here are some of the topics covered in the newsletter):

Issue 2: Kryias and Mudras part 1,
Following the River

Issue 3: Kryias and Mudras part 2,
Spiritual Oppression
(for more on Kryias and Mudras see El Collie's Spirit Dance)

Issue 4: The Open Heart,
Spiritual Stereotypes

Issue 5: Breakdown or Breakthrough?

Issue 6:The Chakras,
Losing Friends
Spirit Guides & Entities
Issue 8: What Helps\Issue 9: Dangerous Medications
Issue 10: Misguided Advisors
Issue 11: Here There and Everywhere,
Shamanic Dismemberment
Issue 12: Hypersensitivity,
To Tell of not to Tell
Issue 13: Nutrition,
Astrology and Transformation
Issue 14: Understanding Symbol
Issue 16: Panic Attacks,
Issue 17: Kundalini energy in external reality,
Issue 19: Dreams
Issue 20: Resurrecton of the Feminin
Issue 22: Beware The Men In White Coats!
Issue 25: Easing Kundalini Problems with Herbs & Supplements
Issue 33: Mending the Hoop,
Issue 37: Sacred Responsibility
Issue 42: Shamanic Ordeals, Demons or Shamanic Allies?
Issue 43: Blessings
Issue 44/45: All One

Ryōkan Taigu (良寛大愚?) (1758–1831)was Japanese Zen monk who lived the early part of his life as a wanderer with no fixed home (unsui, "a cloud and water monk.") Later he settled as a hermit in a mountain hut, and there for many years he lived an isolated life communing with nature, composing poetry, and executing beautiful calligraphy. Sometimes he wandered into the nearby village to play with the children and to beg for food. At times he was so absorbed in his playing that he forgot the food part.

He was originally ordained as Ryōkan Taigu. Ryō means "good", kan means "broad", and Taigu means "great fool"; Ryōkan would thus translate as "broad-hearted generous fool", referring to qualities that Ryōkan's work and life embodies.

(Wikipedia)

Here are some of his poems:

Moon watching,
I spend the night
chanting poems.
Lost among blossoms,
I forget to go home.


Unless the poem
says something from the inner
heart,
what shall we do
with so many empty words?


Autumn fading,
mountain flaming red.
Ink ground,
sake poured--
still no one arives.


The wind blows fresh
and moonshine is clear.
Let's dance all night
even if I am
getting old!


In the village
the music of drums
and flutes,
but here on the mountain
only wind in the pines.


An old man
shut inside all winter
deeo in the mountains--
who would visit
but you?

Three poems on the Heart

Once I heard an inner voice say, "The purpose of poetry is to beget more poems." Recently I received proof of this notion. Here are three poems, the "original" and two more, each of which is inspired by the previous one(s). First, Laurel sent me her poem. Then, for some reason, I wrote a poem "in response" (more or less my version of the same idea.) I sent these to Peggy, who added her own poem as a conclusion.

Yes, poetry does beget more poems.


There comes a time,
when the heart comes out
of hiding,
that the bargaining
Stops

There really is
Nothing
To do

Resignation

There is
no option

The heart stretches
and yawns
from its slumber

It aches
from the years
of clenching

Still timid,
it darts about
like a woodland creature,
back into hiding
and out again.
Gaining courage
with each venture

Past pain
Generic
flows like blood
from a gaping wound,
as the heart awakens
with the flutter
of butterfly wings
(Laurel Griffin)


This is a poem
I have written before.
And will most likely
write again. . .

This poem is carved
on my heart,
the heart that occasionally
wakes up and stretches
and goes out to see
what the world has
to offer that day,
that sometimes shrinks
in fear,
and closes like the
proverbial clam
shutting its jaws
on the ocean floor.

This is the heart
that on some days,
says, "I am just
not ready,"
and on others exclaims,
"Yes, world, I am coming,
wait for me,
I'll be there soon."

(Dorothy Walters)

My heart comes
out of hiding
once a day
when sun shines
just so on
deer nibbling
green grass
shoots
peeking out
of wet ground

(Peggy Wrenn)

YouTube - Full Moon Solar Lunar Dance SOLARA AN-RA www.solara.org.uk
Jan 29, 2010 ... The energies of this full moon in Leo (potential for CREATIVITY) and Aquarius (potential for UNITY) are HUGE! Do this Solar-Lunar Dance to ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWgsIaNYwCA - Cached

Recently I posted this youtube site as something to note carefully, but I realized that the link I gave may not have been sufficient.

Notice what Solara An-Ra says in the above excerpt--that the full moon in Leo (which has just passed) offers great potential for creative expression as well as a major potential for Unity.

Have you noticed anything different in your life and in your field since the full moon? I have. For some reason, the inner energies, which have remained almost dormant for many weeks, are aroused once more. Again, I am in that place where every movement of hand or arm awakens into light. Each breath is a blessing--of love energy, always almost too much to bear.

What I describe happens almost exclusively (for me) during my morning "practice." (This consists of bowing before Buddha, then slow movement, with a bit of chi gong included, sometimes to music, sometimes in silence.) What I want is to FEEL the inner connection, the link to the divine, to reaffirm that I and it are one, for I exist only as a part of IT. Words and thoughts all drop away at this time. I do not wish to "control" my mind, but to follow it, to allow it to lead me into ever higher expressions of divine unity.

This is my way of helping to raise the vibrations of the planet itself--I think many of us are participating in this process. We know who we are, and we are certain that this is why we are here.

And we are immensely grateful to be included in this process.

Namaste.

Dorothy

P. S. The music for this dance can be found at www.nandhi.com, as The Dance of the Siddhas (Turiya Nada)included in " The Cave of the Siddhars" The text on this site is also fascinating (to me, anyway).

Devotion atracts Him
Devotion reveals him;
the Lord is influenced by devotion.
Nothing is more powerful than bhakti.

(from the Mathara-Sruti (ancient Hindu text)

What is devotion? It is when we feel divine reality enter our bodies and know that we and it are One. It is the time when we go into that state of being which enables us to feel that which otherwise is hidden from us. It occurs when we know that we have entered sacred presence, and our heart gives thanks, and asks nothing more than to enjoy this moment of precious connection.

Devotion is not praying for "something" that is desired. It is entering into a condition of union with that which is, when we know that nothing more is needed.