Friday, September 29, 2006
"Cloud of Unknowing" and the Bliss of Divine Love
Note: See previous recent entries for the beginning of "Cloud's" story.
This is actually the second journal entry which "Cloud" sent to me--it is day seven of his awakening experience, but somehow I failed to post it in the right order. It is significant, because it describe the intense feelings of bliss associated with the deep infusion of divine love. Many report a similar sense of overwhelming rapture, particularly in the initial stages of the journey. Once when I asked someone how it was possible to bear such profound ecstasy, I was told that "you get used to it." I would add that (in my experience) such feelings are more pronounced in the early days of arousal, and tend to calm considerably as time passes.
This state could indeed be described as "unconditional love." It is as if the god/goddess knows no bounds, or as if one's own personal defenses and barriers are all stripped away, and one becomes "the plaything of the gods," but in a very loving and supportive way.
It is also of note that "Cloud" perceives that "god" is also "the goddess," being neither male nor female but beyond all such categories. This perception (of the "union of opposites" of all kinds) is a key stage in most inner initiatory experiences. We of the West in particular tend to think in mutually exclusive categories (light/dark, male/female/ mind/body and such). The rise of the Church in Europe led to the near extinction of the old goddess religions which placed the female at the center, and only recently has some of that historical function been restored through the work of various writers, especially the many feminist theologians.
In the far East, the boundaries were less rigid. "Shiva" is actually sometimes depicted as a hermaphroditic deity, with physical features of both sexes to get the idea across. "Shakti" is indeed his consort, but "Shakti" is not a separate personage but merely the feminine form of "Shiva." Thus "god" has a dual nature, and embraces both male and female aspects.
from "Cloud of Unknowing":
Today is Day Seven of whatever is happening to me.
I woke up at 3 am this morning swimming in a sea of bliss, with the energy at the base of my spine and up into my head stronger than before. I felt God's presence, both male and female at the same time. She/He told me that if I surrendered to her I would feel love in ways that I had never imagined. She/He told me that She/He was both male and female but that I related more easily to females so She/He would relate to me in that form for now. She/He told me that I (all of us) were created as vessels of God's love, which fills us completely even when we aren't aware of it (which is most of the time).
After a brief flash of fear (which I decided to give back to Her), I surrendered as much as I could, I imagined just opening up my entire soul and life to God.
I spent the next hour thrashing around on the bed, uncontrollable muscle spasms, waves and waves of unspeakable bliss (impossible to describe in words). The most intense sexual pleasure would pale in comparison to what I felt....and I only partially surrendered. I feel that if I had completely surrendered that I would have been carried away.
After about an hour my body was worn out and sore. God told me that She/He and I were together always but that there was a lot more for me to learn, and that this was just the beginning, and that it would not be easy, but that at the end of it all She/He would make me whole, and I would be the person I was created to be at the beginning of time.
Anyway, that was my experience this morning. I have calmed down somewhat since then, but the energy in my body is even stronger than before and it is hard NOT to surrender again...but I have a family to feed and I have to get my work done. But I ache with longing for the sweet surrender again.
That was my experience. I have more concerns about how to deal with this on an interpersonal level with my wife (who is having trouble dealing with me),
Am I alone in this? I know it is different for everyone but can anyone tell me if they have had events similar to this?
(End of "Cloud's journal entry)
(Now back to Dorothy):
Mystics from time immemorial have reported similar experiences of near unbearable infusions of divine bliss. This state is very hard to understand unless one has experienced it personally. The realization which breaks through is that such accounts are not speaking metaphorically, but are describing actual, literal feelings, as if "the universe is making love to you" as "Cloud" said in another context. Here is one such description from an early Eastern mystic:
My friend, I cannot answer when you ask me to explain
By Vidyapati
(1340? - 1430)
(English version by Edward C. Dimock, Jr. and Denise Levertov)
My friend, I cannot answer when you ask me to explain
what has befallen me.
Love is transformed, renewed,
each moment.
He has dwelt in my eyes all the days of my life,
yet I am not sated with seeing.
My ears have heard his sweet voice in eternity,
and yet it is always new to them.
How many honeyed nights have I passed with him
in love's bliss, yet my body
wonders at his.
Through all the ages
he has been clasped to my breast,
yet my desire
never abates.
I have seen subtle people sunk in passion
but none came so close to the heart of the fire.
Who shall be found to cool your heart,
says Vidyapati.
-- from In Praise of Krishna: Songs from the Bengali, Translated by Edward C. Dimock, Jr. / Translated by Denise Leverto
(Once more, I am indebted to Ivan Granger's poetry-chaikhana for reprinting this poem)
This is actually the second journal entry which "Cloud" sent to me--it is day seven of his awakening experience, but somehow I failed to post it in the right order. It is significant, because it describe the intense feelings of bliss associated with the deep infusion of divine love. Many report a similar sense of overwhelming rapture, particularly in the initial stages of the journey. Once when I asked someone how it was possible to bear such profound ecstasy, I was told that "you get used to it." I would add that (in my experience) such feelings are more pronounced in the early days of arousal, and tend to calm considerably as time passes.
This state could indeed be described as "unconditional love." It is as if the god/goddess knows no bounds, or as if one's own personal defenses and barriers are all stripped away, and one becomes "the plaything of the gods," but in a very loving and supportive way.
It is also of note that "Cloud" perceives that "god" is also "the goddess," being neither male nor female but beyond all such categories. This perception (of the "union of opposites" of all kinds) is a key stage in most inner initiatory experiences. We of the West in particular tend to think in mutually exclusive categories (light/dark, male/female/ mind/body and such). The rise of the Church in Europe led to the near extinction of the old goddess religions which placed the female at the center, and only recently has some of that historical function been restored through the work of various writers, especially the many feminist theologians.
In the far East, the boundaries were less rigid. "Shiva" is actually sometimes depicted as a hermaphroditic deity, with physical features of both sexes to get the idea across. "Shakti" is indeed his consort, but "Shakti" is not a separate personage but merely the feminine form of "Shiva." Thus "god" has a dual nature, and embraces both male and female aspects.
from "Cloud of Unknowing":
Today is Day Seven of whatever is happening to me.
I woke up at 3 am this morning swimming in a sea of bliss, with the energy at the base of my spine and up into my head stronger than before. I felt God's presence, both male and female at the same time. She/He told me that if I surrendered to her I would feel love in ways that I had never imagined. She/He told me that She/He was both male and female but that I related more easily to females so She/He would relate to me in that form for now. She/He told me that I (all of us) were created as vessels of God's love, which fills us completely even when we aren't aware of it (which is most of the time).
After a brief flash of fear (which I decided to give back to Her), I surrendered as much as I could, I imagined just opening up my entire soul and life to God.
I spent the next hour thrashing around on the bed, uncontrollable muscle spasms, waves and waves of unspeakable bliss (impossible to describe in words). The most intense sexual pleasure would pale in comparison to what I felt....and I only partially surrendered. I feel that if I had completely surrendered that I would have been carried away.
After about an hour my body was worn out and sore. God told me that She/He and I were together always but that there was a lot more for me to learn, and that this was just the beginning, and that it would not be easy, but that at the end of it all She/He would make me whole, and I would be the person I was created to be at the beginning of time.
Anyway, that was my experience this morning. I have calmed down somewhat since then, but the energy in my body is even stronger than before and it is hard NOT to surrender again...but I have a family to feed and I have to get my work done. But I ache with longing for the sweet surrender again.
That was my experience. I have more concerns about how to deal with this on an interpersonal level with my wife (who is having trouble dealing with me),
Am I alone in this? I know it is different for everyone but can anyone tell me if they have had events similar to this?
(End of "Cloud's journal entry)
(Now back to Dorothy):
Mystics from time immemorial have reported similar experiences of near unbearable infusions of divine bliss. This state is very hard to understand unless one has experienced it personally. The realization which breaks through is that such accounts are not speaking metaphorically, but are describing actual, literal feelings, as if "the universe is making love to you" as "Cloud" said in another context. Here is one such description from an early Eastern mystic:
My friend, I cannot answer when you ask me to explain
By Vidyapati
(1340? - 1430)
(English version by Edward C. Dimock, Jr. and Denise Levertov)
My friend, I cannot answer when you ask me to explain
what has befallen me.
Love is transformed, renewed,
each moment.
He has dwelt in my eyes all the days of my life,
yet I am not sated with seeing.
My ears have heard his sweet voice in eternity,
and yet it is always new to them.
How many honeyed nights have I passed with him
in love's bliss, yet my body
wonders at his.
Through all the ages
he has been clasped to my breast,
yet my desire
never abates.
I have seen subtle people sunk in passion
but none came so close to the heart of the fire.
Who shall be found to cool your heart,
says Vidyapati.
-- from In Praise of Krishna: Songs from the Bengali, Translated by Edward C. Dimock, Jr. / Translated by Denise Leverto
(Once more, I am indebted to Ivan Granger's poetry-chaikhana for reprinting this poem)
