Wednesday, April 07, 2004
The Gift of El Collie
When I experienced awakening in 1981, I did not know a single person who had heard of, much less experienced, kundalini. For the most part, I kept silent about my own experience--it was mysterious, exotic, esoteric in the extreme. A few books were available, but for the most part it was a very solitary journey. Some years later, I asked a friend (who knew about such things as the internet, which was itself still a novelty) to type in the word kundalini to see what came up. I was thrilled when four references appeared. For me, it was as though the most hidden and indeed the ultra secret realms were coming to light. Today, if you type in that word on Google or Netscape, you will get literally thousands of references--kundalini awareness seems to have swept across the planet like a great wave of enlightenment.
But in the early l990's, such awareness was still quite rare. Thus, when I heard that someone in Oakland (California) had started a newsletter dedicated entirely to kundalini awakening, I was overjoyed. It was called Shared Transformation and was written and edited by El Collie, along with her husband Charles Kress. I immediately subscribed and ordered all back issues. Eventually, I submitted some of my own writings, and was delighted that they were accepted for publication. For me, this was a kind of milestone in my journey, finally sharing publicly what had been, to then, almost exclusively a private experience. Later El Collie even published some of my poems, and again I was deeply grateful.
Though I never met El Collie, I learned quite a bit about her from the newsletter. She was obviously quite intelligent, a very articulate and knowledgeable writer on this little known topic. She was able to speak authoritatively on all aspects of the kundalini journey, from its sources in various traditions to modern applications. She warned us against relying on false teachers, and suggested alternatives to sometimes misleading diagnoses by traditional medical practitioners. She was in fact an encyclopedia of pertinent information, and much of what she said had been tested in her own experience.
In addition to offering her personal reflections, she included the voices of many others undergoing spiritual emergence of various kinds. It was reassuring to discover that kundalini awakening was indeed part of a "shared transformation," and she served as the shaman/wise woman assisting others on this difficult journey.
One of the great disappointments of my life was that I never got to meet her in person. I was shocked to discover that she had left the planet some months previous, now two years ago this month. Her health had continued to deteriorate through the years, bringing ever increasing pain into her body. I happened recently on one of the last e-mails I received from her, in which she stated that she had carpal tunnel syndrome not only in her hands but in her feet as well. This development must have been devastating for her, for her writing clearly was her life blood, the necessity which gave her life fulfillment and purpose.
Her husband and soul mate, Charles, played a major role in the publication of Shared Transformation, from its origins as a print publication to its later reemergence as an internet site. After El Collie's death, Charles did something impressive as a tribute to El Collie and a gift to her friends and audience. He edited and posted the book she had been working on for years. From reading this amazing manuscript, I learned even more about the life of this fascinating woman. (She never wanted her book to be published by a conventional publisher. She wanted it to be on the internet, available free to all readers.)
El Collie had always been a pioneer. Disdaining elitism, she identified with those who struggle to survive in our society. She deliberately chose not to go to college (this despite her obvious innate intelligence.) She lived a life of adventure. Her early chapters describe how she and her children lay on the floor of their apartment to avoid the gunfire which erupted in the riots in Detroit during the stormy early days of the civil rights movement. She lived in Haight-Ashbury during its heyday as a counterculture center, and participated in many of the social experiments taking place there at that time. She was a feminist poet early on in the Bay Area, and did many public readings at coffee houses and the like. She firmly believed that poetry was part of the oral tradition, and should be heard rather than read.
Thus it was not surprising that this woman of strong conviction and pure intent should be one of the first to offer support for the awakening kundalini community. She did not simply dream about the need for new means of connection, she threw herself into the effort to create something utterly novel, totally unfamiliar. For, though such experiences as near-death and out-of-body were now fairly familiar, kundalini was still part of the mysterious unknown, totally out of the mainstream consciousness.
And, as always, she did not seek to make significant financial gain from her endeavors. She charged only a minimum amount for the publication, and received little or nothing for her services.
For me, she is that rarity of rarities, a true human being. She was not afraid to take risk. She threw herself fully into her chosen commitments. She lit a path for the rest of us to follow at a time when such mentors were few and near impossible to locate.
Though I never met her, I did see her photograph (online). She looks to be a fairly tall, imposing woman, with strength and courage inscribed on her face. She would be an indomitable leader and a daunting opponent for those whose principles were suspect. She was, in fact, a goddess, with all the beauty and majesty which that implies. She was the wise Athena, the woman who gave us an incalculable gift of knowledge and encouragement when we needed it most.
Go to www.elcollie.com to read Branded by the Spirit, El Collie's remarkable autobiography, as well as her astute discussions of the kundalini process. This site also includes back issues of Shared Transformation
But in the early l990's, such awareness was still quite rare. Thus, when I heard that someone in Oakland (California) had started a newsletter dedicated entirely to kundalini awakening, I was overjoyed. It was called Shared Transformation and was written and edited by El Collie, along with her husband Charles Kress. I immediately subscribed and ordered all back issues. Eventually, I submitted some of my own writings, and was delighted that they were accepted for publication. For me, this was a kind of milestone in my journey, finally sharing publicly what had been, to then, almost exclusively a private experience. Later El Collie even published some of my poems, and again I was deeply grateful.
Though I never met El Collie, I learned quite a bit about her from the newsletter. She was obviously quite intelligent, a very articulate and knowledgeable writer on this little known topic. She was able to speak authoritatively on all aspects of the kundalini journey, from its sources in various traditions to modern applications. She warned us against relying on false teachers, and suggested alternatives to sometimes misleading diagnoses by traditional medical practitioners. She was in fact an encyclopedia of pertinent information, and much of what she said had been tested in her own experience.
In addition to offering her personal reflections, she included the voices of many others undergoing spiritual emergence of various kinds. It was reassuring to discover that kundalini awakening was indeed part of a "shared transformation," and she served as the shaman/wise woman assisting others on this difficult journey.
One of the great disappointments of my life was that I never got to meet her in person. I was shocked to discover that she had left the planet some months previous, now two years ago this month. Her health had continued to deteriorate through the years, bringing ever increasing pain into her body. I happened recently on one of the last e-mails I received from her, in which she stated that she had carpal tunnel syndrome not only in her hands but in her feet as well. This development must have been devastating for her, for her writing clearly was her life blood, the necessity which gave her life fulfillment and purpose.
Her husband and soul mate, Charles, played a major role in the publication of Shared Transformation, from its origins as a print publication to its later reemergence as an internet site. After El Collie's death, Charles did something impressive as a tribute to El Collie and a gift to her friends and audience. He edited and posted the book she had been working on for years. From reading this amazing manuscript, I learned even more about the life of this fascinating woman. (She never wanted her book to be published by a conventional publisher. She wanted it to be on the internet, available free to all readers.)
El Collie had always been a pioneer. Disdaining elitism, she identified with those who struggle to survive in our society. She deliberately chose not to go to college (this despite her obvious innate intelligence.) She lived a life of adventure. Her early chapters describe how she and her children lay on the floor of their apartment to avoid the gunfire which erupted in the riots in Detroit during the stormy early days of the civil rights movement. She lived in Haight-Ashbury during its heyday as a counterculture center, and participated in many of the social experiments taking place there at that time. She was a feminist poet early on in the Bay Area, and did many public readings at coffee houses and the like. She firmly believed that poetry was part of the oral tradition, and should be heard rather than read.
Thus it was not surprising that this woman of strong conviction and pure intent should be one of the first to offer support for the awakening kundalini community. She did not simply dream about the need for new means of connection, she threw herself into the effort to create something utterly novel, totally unfamiliar. For, though such experiences as near-death and out-of-body were now fairly familiar, kundalini was still part of the mysterious unknown, totally out of the mainstream consciousness.
And, as always, she did not seek to make significant financial gain from her endeavors. She charged only a minimum amount for the publication, and received little or nothing for her services.
For me, she is that rarity of rarities, a true human being. She was not afraid to take risk. She threw herself fully into her chosen commitments. She lit a path for the rest of us to follow at a time when such mentors were few and near impossible to locate.
Though I never met her, I did see her photograph (online). She looks to be a fairly tall, imposing woman, with strength and courage inscribed on her face. She would be an indomitable leader and a daunting opponent for those whose principles were suspect. She was, in fact, a goddess, with all the beauty and majesty which that implies. She was the wise Athena, the woman who gave us an incalculable gift of knowledge and encouragement when we needed it most.
Go to www.elcollie.com to read Branded by the Spirit, El Collie's remarkable autobiography, as well as her astute discussions of the kundalini process. This site also includes back issues of Shared Transformation
