Monday, November 15, 2004
On Bliss and Pain
My friend Claire Libby has asked about the relationship of bliss and pain. Here is what I wrote in reply:
Dear Claire,
Once again, thank you for these wonderful and provocative questions. I have been pondering them for several days, and here are some thoughts (all a bit tentative.)
I think the big question is, what is the relationship of bliss to pain, especially the pain and suffering of others and the world at large.
First, let me try this: What is bliss?
There are as many kinds and states of bliss as there are people, and their own myriad states of consciousness. I tend to think of two major kinds of bliss: somatic and non-somatic. The former includes a clearly perceived bodily state of sensuous feeling, which one person described as "like sex only different." It may have, but need not have, a sexual origin, and may have, but need not have, a sexual goal. Some people take modern day "tantric workshops" to bring more feeling into their sexual relationships. Some people dedicate their bliss feelings to the divine itself, which seems to flow through the body in states of heightened awareness and hence is thought of as the "Beloved Within." And some tantrics (Baba Hari Dass is one) practice strict forms of celibacy and view bliss states as something to "go beyond."
There are also certain states of consciousness which some people call "bliss" which in fact are more like 'trancing out".
Often people use the term "bliss" to refer to delight or tranquillity or good feelings or pleasure. It is a very tricky word, with many overlapping categories and overtones. It is like all subjective states, capable of myriad definitions and gradations of meaning.
Now, when a person is suddenly flooded with kundalini rapture (that is, he or she is being "opened" in a very mysterious process), she is like a new born babe, and needs special care. The nervous system is being radically reconstructed, and she is suddenly thrust into a world where things look, feel, and sound different from anything she has known before. For a time, she needs to be freed from the demands of ordinary living. If possible, she should go into some form of seclusion surrounded by sympathetic aides and helpers, who will care for her tenderly during this initial period.
Alas, most people do not have access to this kind of privileged care. They must make it on their own, deal with the utterly new and dazzling sensations, and cope as best they can with the swings of mood and emotions which may follow.
This state of transition is not easy. Even bliss is sometimes hard to bear (because of its unfamiliarity and intensity.) Many times, there is no one to share with, no one even to talk to. And the bliss may be followed (sooner or later) by acute pain, either over long periods of time or else in briefer interludes.
So--I think anyone in this state must be excused (for the time being) from too much concern for the troubles of the world and focus on the intense inner process which is going in within.
How long does this "state of emergence" last? As long as it takes. But, as time goes by, the bliss states often become less frequent, and the pain (if it occurs) less intense, and one can begin, gradually to enter the world again.
In these early days, one can be so open that she picks up the pain in another's body, feeling it as her own. Some seem to experience the pain and agony of the world at large in their own bodies.
At some point, one is ready to turn awareness once more to the challenges and problems and pain of the surrounding society. One can then follow various paths of "giving back," finding ways to help others cope with pain or to encourage them on their own paths. Some are able to use the blissful energies as healing forces for others. I longed to become an energy healer, but discovered that I was too sensitive to do so--I simply mirrored the other's pain in my body, and so we had two people in distress instead of one. I can still pick up on others' feelings, whether good or bad--I get a "hit" in my body, sometimes just from strangers walking by.
I have hoped that my writings have been helpful to others coming along. I have focused on the "bliss" part of the journey, because it seemed to me that that was the great discovery, at least for me--that we, in our bodies, could open in unsuspected ways to great ecstasy in addition to pain. Many people say this blissful state is in fact the "natural" condition of our existence, and that society has programmed it out of us. Some say it is our birthright.
I have also felt it was important to stress the positive features of the body awakening to bliss because the patriarchy has so long denied women the right to claim such feelings as part of their natural heritage. The body in many cultures and societies (our own included) has often been reviled, rejected, humiliated--we all are familiar with the record. Part of the process of healing for all women (and some men) is to come into a state of acceptance of the fact that bodily pleasure (including but not confined to sex) is o.k., that it is all right to feel good, to acknowledge and accept this wondrous inner state as a token of the divine connection.
In my case, part of the great discovery was that pleasurable bodily sensations were not specifically connected to sex, but rather to the joyful dance of the atoms inside. Music has been very important in this regard.
So--when I do my meditation practice, I offer it to the world of sentient beings, asking that all may be blessed and healed. I usually include prayers for those I know personally who are suffering or facing great challenges, and then ask that healing occur in the world at large. My practice sometimes includes bliss states, sometimes not. I have, for the most part, moved into a new stage of my life. But while the bliss currents were strong, I did not try to stop them, because that would have been a disaster. But now I do not mourn their absence--I simply accept that which comes as right for me, and welcome them when they occasionally reappear.
And I am extremely concerned about the fate of the world. I find that many of my friends are, as I am, greatly disturbed by current world events. Like me, they fear for the future of our country and for the world. I think the whole scene is a tinderbox sitting on a pile of kindling ready to explode even more, and that our leaders are like children playing with matches with little awareness of the consequences of their acts.
Knowing that bliss is a possibility for the human state offers great comfort and reassurance. It tells me the divine is present in our world, in the face of all darkness. It reminds me of the place from which we have come, and to which we will return at death. It is the kiss of the goddess which sustains us as we go. The divine embrace is holding us as we enter into what I believe is a new stage of human evolution, despite all the signs of societal failure. We are being devastated and redeemed all at the same time. I think current chaos is part of the transition to a new vibration, and we are now learning to live in it.
If one had to choose between bliss feelings and compassionate action, of course one would choose the latter. But my ideal is both, bliss to give us courage and strength and to affirm our divine origins and connection, and compassionate action to fulfill our core commitment to the world.
Dear Claire,
Once again, thank you for these wonderful and provocative questions. I have been pondering them for several days, and here are some thoughts (all a bit tentative.)
I think the big question is, what is the relationship of bliss to pain, especially the pain and suffering of others and the world at large.
First, let me try this: What is bliss?
There are as many kinds and states of bliss as there are people, and their own myriad states of consciousness. I tend to think of two major kinds of bliss: somatic and non-somatic. The former includes a clearly perceived bodily state of sensuous feeling, which one person described as "like sex only different." It may have, but need not have, a sexual origin, and may have, but need not have, a sexual goal. Some people take modern day "tantric workshops" to bring more feeling into their sexual relationships. Some people dedicate their bliss feelings to the divine itself, which seems to flow through the body in states of heightened awareness and hence is thought of as the "Beloved Within." And some tantrics (Baba Hari Dass is one) practice strict forms of celibacy and view bliss states as something to "go beyond."
There are also certain states of consciousness which some people call "bliss" which in fact are more like 'trancing out".
Often people use the term "bliss" to refer to delight or tranquillity or good feelings or pleasure. It is a very tricky word, with many overlapping categories and overtones. It is like all subjective states, capable of myriad definitions and gradations of meaning.
Now, when a person is suddenly flooded with kundalini rapture (that is, he or she is being "opened" in a very mysterious process), she is like a new born babe, and needs special care. The nervous system is being radically reconstructed, and she is suddenly thrust into a world where things look, feel, and sound different from anything she has known before. For a time, she needs to be freed from the demands of ordinary living. If possible, she should go into some form of seclusion surrounded by sympathetic aides and helpers, who will care for her tenderly during this initial period.
Alas, most people do not have access to this kind of privileged care. They must make it on their own, deal with the utterly new and dazzling sensations, and cope as best they can with the swings of mood and emotions which may follow.
This state of transition is not easy. Even bliss is sometimes hard to bear (because of its unfamiliarity and intensity.) Many times, there is no one to share with, no one even to talk to. And the bliss may be followed (sooner or later) by acute pain, either over long periods of time or else in briefer interludes.
So--I think anyone in this state must be excused (for the time being) from too much concern for the troubles of the world and focus on the intense inner process which is going in within.
How long does this "state of emergence" last? As long as it takes. But, as time goes by, the bliss states often become less frequent, and the pain (if it occurs) less intense, and one can begin, gradually to enter the world again.
In these early days, one can be so open that she picks up the pain in another's body, feeling it as her own. Some seem to experience the pain and agony of the world at large in their own bodies.
At some point, one is ready to turn awareness once more to the challenges and problems and pain of the surrounding society. One can then follow various paths of "giving back," finding ways to help others cope with pain or to encourage them on their own paths. Some are able to use the blissful energies as healing forces for others. I longed to become an energy healer, but discovered that I was too sensitive to do so--I simply mirrored the other's pain in my body, and so we had two people in distress instead of one. I can still pick up on others' feelings, whether good or bad--I get a "hit" in my body, sometimes just from strangers walking by.
I have hoped that my writings have been helpful to others coming along. I have focused on the "bliss" part of the journey, because it seemed to me that that was the great discovery, at least for me--that we, in our bodies, could open in unsuspected ways to great ecstasy in addition to pain. Many people say this blissful state is in fact the "natural" condition of our existence, and that society has programmed it out of us. Some say it is our birthright.
I have also felt it was important to stress the positive features of the body awakening to bliss because the patriarchy has so long denied women the right to claim such feelings as part of their natural heritage. The body in many cultures and societies (our own included) has often been reviled, rejected, humiliated--we all are familiar with the record. Part of the process of healing for all women (and some men) is to come into a state of acceptance of the fact that bodily pleasure (including but not confined to sex) is o.k., that it is all right to feel good, to acknowledge and accept this wondrous inner state as a token of the divine connection.
In my case, part of the great discovery was that pleasurable bodily sensations were not specifically connected to sex, but rather to the joyful dance of the atoms inside. Music has been very important in this regard.
So--when I do my meditation practice, I offer it to the world of sentient beings, asking that all may be blessed and healed. I usually include prayers for those I know personally who are suffering or facing great challenges, and then ask that healing occur in the world at large. My practice sometimes includes bliss states, sometimes not. I have, for the most part, moved into a new stage of my life. But while the bliss currents were strong, I did not try to stop them, because that would have been a disaster. But now I do not mourn their absence--I simply accept that which comes as right for me, and welcome them when they occasionally reappear.
And I am extremely concerned about the fate of the world. I find that many of my friends are, as I am, greatly disturbed by current world events. Like me, they fear for the future of our country and for the world. I think the whole scene is a tinderbox sitting on a pile of kindling ready to explode even more, and that our leaders are like children playing with matches with little awareness of the consequences of their acts.
Knowing that bliss is a possibility for the human state offers great comfort and reassurance. It tells me the divine is present in our world, in the face of all darkness. It reminds me of the place from which we have come, and to which we will return at death. It is the kiss of the goddess which sustains us as we go. The divine embrace is holding us as we enter into what I believe is a new stage of human evolution, despite all the signs of societal failure. We are being devastated and redeemed all at the same time. I think current chaos is part of the transition to a new vibration, and we are now learning to live in it.
If one had to choose between bliss feelings and compassionate action, of course one would choose the latter. But my ideal is both, bliss to give us courage and strength and to affirm our divine origins and connection, and compassionate action to fulfill our core commitment to the world.
