Kundalini Splendor

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Thursday, May 26, 2005

Kundalini and Pain 

Recently, a friend and I were discussing why kundalini so often brought pain as well as bliss. I suggested that, first of all, kundalini most likely arises into consciousness for those who already have a highly sensitive nervous system. Then, as a result of this awakening, all responses are magnified many times over, as we now begin to sense at a cellular level, becoming aware of sensations and feelings heretofore restricted to the realm of the unconscious. Our reactions to stimuli are not only quicker (we now perceive what was before below the level of awareness), but they are infinitely more refined. We can pick up not only on the vibrations of our surroundings (noise, people, chaotic movement, chatter, etc.) but also the energetic fields of those we come into contact with, for good or for ill.

All of this "hyper-sensitivity" can throw us into states of extreme pain as well as rapture. Whatever was bothering us before (as physical symptoms or latent illness or unresolved psychological issues) now may rise to the surface in dramatic fashion, insisting that they be noted and attended to. The traditional theory is that kundalini is purifying or cleansing our nervous system, and that ultimately all problems will be resolved and we will exist in a near perfect state of being.

I went through such a balancing process for many years. Like many others, my symptoms were often quite bizarre (prickling over the body, unexplained headaches, backaches, massive problems with digestion and elimination, racing heart, sensations of pain in the gums and fingernails--on and on.) Each time I thought I couldn't take any more, the symptoms subsided, as though the underlying consciousness directing the process understood my need. After some fifteen or more years of this (with many intervals of bliss as well as pain), I more or less quit counting. I thought I would never be finished with the "ups and downs" of my transformation. Then, at some point, I noticed that my symptoms had, in fact, abated, that I was much steadier in my psyche, much less vulnerable to external disturbance. I was not "perfect" by any means, but it was as though my system had settled down, and was now comfortable with the (still) new state. I had reached the level appropriate to me. I didn't see visions, or hear angels singing. I was not a prophet nor as seer, nor a gifted healer. But I was someone radically different from what I had been, for I knew what was possible, and treasured the gift I had been given.

Now, my "bliss energies" come less frequently, and are far softer and more subtle. Yet they are quite delightful when they manifest. I am more relaxed with the entire process, accepting that which is given, open to but not craving the bliss. I feel that the connection with "the divine companion" remains constant, though I may not be aware of it at every moment. Once again, I am concerned with what I think as well as what I feel. I am no longer focused so on my own process, but wish to help others, if only by a nod of recognition or a moment of encouragement.

Above all, I want to "find the others," to be in touch. Indeed this is the time of "finding," of connecting with those who have also "gone off," as one friend puts it. I think this is the phase of building the networks, the webs of light to carry us into the new era. I am grateful to be a part of this process.

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