Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Many people think of Kundalini as merely a way to intensify sexual experience, and some use it explicitly for that purpose. Kundalini is, of course, much more than a sexual high. It is, for me, a connection to the divine, embodied evidence of the reality of the creative forces of the universe, the energies which underlie who we are and how we connect to the larger reality.
However, Kundalini shifts our entire being into new realms, and sex is included as an aspect of that transformation. For some, sexual feelings are intensified in a pleasurable way. (One ancient text says that persons undergoing Kundalini awakening are, in fact, irresistible to others.) Others are said to lose all interest in sex entirely.
Clearly, the Kundalini energies are closely related to erotic energies. I have long thought of them as a "different" manifestation of the body's own "natural energies" , the latter now transformed and expressed as "spiritual energy" rather than "sexual energy" per se. My own descriptions of "rapture" or "ecstasy" referred to a diffuse sensation of pleasure flowing throughout the body, including (at times) the brain and in fact every possible region (hands, toes, cheeks, ears, for example).
One woman, after experiencing some initial awakening episodes, said, "Oh, now I understand. Kundalini is like sex, only different." (I think that sums it up quite well.)
For women, one result of awakening can be spontaneous orgasms, occurring at unpredictable moments. I have known several who reported this reaction, usually in moments of intense excitement for other reasons (visiting Machu Picchu, entering an art store with delightful materials, for example.) One recent correspondent says she is experiencing near constant orgasms, some quite small, others large, since her awakening. She is comfortable with her response, and feels the Goddess is in fact blessing her. Here is an excerpt from a recent letter written by her to a friend:
"...I'm not reading (these) forums very much because I'm spending a lot of time dealing with my Kundalini Awakening. There are some very hard parts to it, including tiredness, lots of kriyas (muscle spasms [including many, many spontaneous orgasms] which sometime occur at inopportune times), problems with concentrating, emotional and physical pain, itching [This is new - and not real fun!], too much energy, etc. I wish I could just go off to a retreat house or ashram for awhile, but that's not possible. At the same time, I am enjoying being a "novice mystic" and having a very definite and significant connection to the "Divine Within"...
...A lot of people think a Kundalini Awakening is all ecstasy and bliss, which is far from the truth. It's a life-transforming, mind-shattering, painful, confusing, disorienting experience, which, once it starts, can't be stopped, and which goes on for years and years and even decades.
My advice to people is be careful what you wish for - and, ironically, I didn't even wish for this because I didn't even know what it was until after it happened!
I am perhaps overemphasizing the down-side of my Awakening, in part because it's really hard to put into words the "mystical, magical" part. Let me give it a shot. Sometimes I feel really good, really high, almost manic. There are times when I feel tremendous love for and connection with all people, with all beings. Once or twice I have experienced myself as the Cosmos, the All-That-Is. And I have a very personal relationship with what Dorothy calls the "Beloved Within". I talk to Her (the Beloved) and She counsels me, reassures me, [I'm starting to talk to Her more and She to me, but She's not real chatty!] and, in the context of my many spontaneous orgasms, She literally makes love to me whenever I ask Her to.
I have done amazing and magical things with my Chakras. I can "play" each one of them almost like a musical instrument by sending energy through them, which leads to a feeling of pleasure and usually an orgasm. [What I just described is new as of yesterday!] Ironically, a few months ago I only half believed Chakras existed, and now they have become an omnipresent part of my reality. I have over 100 orgasms a day (yes, I counted them once, and the count was 144), i.e. the Divine touches me in a special way over a 100 times a day!" (from Merrilee)
Each person's journey is, of course, unique. Some, alas, experience primarily pain, and must work through many difficult blocks to find their way to bliss. Others are enveloped in total bliss,wrapped in the arms of the Mother from the very beginning.