Tuesday, November 08, 2005
More from Merrilee
Here is yet another entry on Merrilee's journey of awakening. This event occurred just about a week ago. She was then about two months into her kundalini experience. Again, thanks Merrilee. Not many would be brave enough to share their experiences almost as they are happening. But what you offer is a vast window into how the kundalini can operate in its opening stages--and we are all eager to learn as much as we can from one another about this mysterious process.
Dear Merrilee--
Your experience continues to amaze me. Again, it seems like you are literally flying through the stages. What you are describing are (I think) also kriyas--the term applies to any involuntary muscle movements or vocalization--but yours are impressively dramatic. It is also interesting that this was your response to Johnathan Goldman's "Trance Tara" CD which used to send me into total and instant rapture.
I have other friends who also have intense kriyas--one in particular is convinced that they are healing responses--that her body is, she feels, being healed of many old wounds and in effect being "remade." (Dorothy)
Hope you are having a fun weekend. I am having a quiet and somewhat spacey one so far - and that's OK.
I listened to the Trance Tara CD today and had some interesting experiences. Nothing terribly intense happened (I am such a spoiled and greedy mystic!), but some interesting things did occur.
At the beginning I experienced just a few minutes of my classic kriyas (shaking and jerking). Then, for quite a few minutes, I was treated to what can only be described as a chiropractic or massage treatment on my neck! My head was slowly moved up and down and all around, so as to stretch my neck in many different directions. It was a very methodical process, and each side of my neck received an equal amount of stretching.
Following that, my upright head was turned as far left as it could go and held there for maybe 10 seconds. During this time I had a couple of very intense orgasms. Then my head was slowly moved through a kind of figure eight pattern and turned to the right as far as it could go and held in that position. I again had a couple of intense orgasms. This pattern was repeated three or four times. (Note: I hurt my neck in a car accident in 1991.)
On a number of occasions, I was put into my "regular" position of back arched and head thrown back. Following each occurrence of this, my body was put in the exact opposite position (body curled forward, head bowed), and I would have an orgasm.
During the second half of the first track, I started "dancing" in my chair. I thought of you dancing to this CD, and I could understand why. By "dancing" I mean that various parts of my body would move in time to the music. Sometimes it was just my head or my shoulders or my hips or my legs. Other times, various combinations of my body parts would move at the same time. It was quite fun, and, in case it's not clear, none of this was under my conscious control!
I occasionally joined in out loud with the chanting that is on the CD (this was my conscious choice), but I found that doing so distracted me from what my body was experiencing.
During the second track, which is quieter I think, I was put in the back-arched, head-back position, and I pretty much stayed that way. What I did - or tried to do - during this track was some healing on your eyes. I kept thinking that this was "your" CD, and that it was only fitting that I should try to do some healing on your eyes while I was listening to it.
I focused on my own eyes when I was attempting to heal yours, which is how I generally do healings. I felt consistent pressure on my eyes and eventually even some pain in them. I figured these were good signs. I also humbly asked the Goddess to heal your eyes. And then I asked not-so-humbly! My impudence seemed to be well-tolerated by the Goddess. (This actually reminds me of how I used to relate to my Mom. Even when I was kind of teasingly presumptuous with her, we both knew who was ultimately in charge - and it wasn't me!)
Eventually, I went away/went to sleep in the back-arched, head-back position, and I came to shortly before the CD stopped.
On reflection, I realize that the above events are amazing, especially the "someone's-moving-my-body-around" part, but, at the same time, I am truly spoiled, and I want so much to recreate my experience of Divine Union. I imagine - and hope - it will happen again sometime.
One other thing - last night and today my Inner Beloved and I have been talking more. I also get teasingly presumptuous with Her, and She definitely doesn't mind. I can almost feel Her smile at me. She reminds me of my Mom in many ways, except She's not as warm. I told Her that, and She basically said the warmth will come later! Right now She's trying to direct my behavior and give me some important message.
(Copyright material)
Dear Merrilee--
Your experience continues to amaze me. Again, it seems like you are literally flying through the stages. What you are describing are (I think) also kriyas--the term applies to any involuntary muscle movements or vocalization--but yours are impressively dramatic. It is also interesting that this was your response to Johnathan Goldman's "Trance Tara" CD which used to send me into total and instant rapture.
I have other friends who also have intense kriyas--one in particular is convinced that they are healing responses--that her body is, she feels, being healed of many old wounds and in effect being "remade." (Dorothy)
Hope you are having a fun weekend. I am having a quiet and somewhat spacey one so far - and that's OK.
I listened to the Trance Tara CD today and had some interesting experiences. Nothing terribly intense happened (I am such a spoiled and greedy mystic!), but some interesting things did occur.
At the beginning I experienced just a few minutes of my classic kriyas (shaking and jerking). Then, for quite a few minutes, I was treated to what can only be described as a chiropractic or massage treatment on my neck! My head was slowly moved up and down and all around, so as to stretch my neck in many different directions. It was a very methodical process, and each side of my neck received an equal amount of stretching.
Following that, my upright head was turned as far left as it could go and held there for maybe 10 seconds. During this time I had a couple of very intense orgasms. Then my head was slowly moved through a kind of figure eight pattern and turned to the right as far as it could go and held in that position. I again had a couple of intense orgasms. This pattern was repeated three or four times. (Note: I hurt my neck in a car accident in 1991.)
On a number of occasions, I was put into my "regular" position of back arched and head thrown back. Following each occurrence of this, my body was put in the exact opposite position (body curled forward, head bowed), and I would have an orgasm.
During the second half of the first track, I started "dancing" in my chair. I thought of you dancing to this CD, and I could understand why. By "dancing" I mean that various parts of my body would move in time to the music. Sometimes it was just my head or my shoulders or my hips or my legs. Other times, various combinations of my body parts would move at the same time. It was quite fun, and, in case it's not clear, none of this was under my conscious control!
I occasionally joined in out loud with the chanting that is on the CD (this was my conscious choice), but I found that doing so distracted me from what my body was experiencing.
During the second track, which is quieter I think, I was put in the back-arched, head-back position, and I pretty much stayed that way. What I did - or tried to do - during this track was some healing on your eyes. I kept thinking that this was "your" CD, and that it was only fitting that I should try to do some healing on your eyes while I was listening to it.
I focused on my own eyes when I was attempting to heal yours, which is how I generally do healings. I felt consistent pressure on my eyes and eventually even some pain in them. I figured these were good signs. I also humbly asked the Goddess to heal your eyes. And then I asked not-so-humbly! My impudence seemed to be well-tolerated by the Goddess. (This actually reminds me of how I used to relate to my Mom. Even when I was kind of teasingly presumptuous with her, we both knew who was ultimately in charge - and it wasn't me!)
Eventually, I went away/went to sleep in the back-arched, head-back position, and I came to shortly before the CD stopped.
On reflection, I realize that the above events are amazing, especially the "someone's-moving-my-body-around" part, but, at the same time, I am truly spoiled, and I want so much to recreate my experience of Divine Union. I imagine - and hope - it will happen again sometime.
One other thing - last night and today my Inner Beloved and I have been talking more. I also get teasingly presumptuous with Her, and She definitely doesn't mind. I can almost feel Her smile at me. She reminds me of my Mom in many ways, except She's not as warm. I told Her that, and She basically said the warmth will come later! Right now She's trying to direct my behavior and give me some important message.
(Copyright material)
