Tuesday, October 24, 2006
"Cloud" and the Mask of the Goddess
(Here is another of Cloud's journal entries. Again, remember that "Cloud of Unknowing" begins his story on September 20, and it is posted in various entries thereafter.)
October 20, 2006
Several strong bliss experiences yesterday, great closeness to the Goddess. At one time She made a big deal to remind me that her Female form was a mask for the Absolute.
About 3 am this morning, I woke up with strong bliss moving through my body. Goddess was there….She told me that it was time for Her to show me more of Herself, if I would surrender.
So I surrendered, expecting a different flavor of bliss or a new image or mask or something like that.
But that’s not what happened.
All of a sudden, I was surrounded by LIGHT….warm penetrating light, not the Goddess image I’ve been seeing in my mind, but just LIGHT. The bliss ramped up, and indeed it was a different “flavor”….not so much pleasure as just LOVE…for a few seconds the deepest I’ve felt in this whole experience. Then I felt my soul begin to lift out of my body toward the LIGHT…part of my being screamed “YES, take me!!! Dissolve me into You!” but another part of me was scared and screamed “NO!” The LIGHT faded at that point, and the love feeling cut back about 70% although it didn’t go away completely.
Then the image of the Goddess returned and told me that She was putting Her mask back on for now, but that I’d had a glimpse of Her true nature. I felt my heart crack open and it felt like my chest was expanding out several feet. . .I swam in love the rest of the night.
This morning I woke up in a good mood, although I can feel my ego fighting back against what happened.
In later correspondence, he added the following:
I'm increasingly comfortable with the knowledge that the "Goddess" experiences I have been having are "just" a mask that Absolute Love is wearing to make it easier for me to understand Him/Her. She reminds me everyday that this is a mask and that what lies beyond the mask is so much more wonderful than even the brief glimpes I have been given.
And, here is another exchange of ideas on the topic of the goddess as form or formless:
This first paragraph is from me to Cloud:
"...in certain eastern traditions, devotion to the god "without name or form" is considered to be more advanced than worship of the god with form.
I love the goddess also and went through a long term of exploring her nature and essence--but now I simply seek to be one with "it" without giving it a name or image. All of this just came naturally and was appropriate at the time.
I think this is an important key--just to let things unfold on their own, and clearly you are doing this."
And here is Cloud's reply:
She/He/It reminds me every day to trust in Her/He/It and to trust the process...so that's what I'm trying to do.
Although I am exploring the Goddess and essentially letting Her have Her way with me, erotically and otherwise, whenever She wants, I know that this is just a stage in the process and the glory of the Absolute beyond the mask would put to shame even the wonderful joy I have now. As long as I remember that She is a mask for It, I think I'm on the right path.
Ramakrishna, for example, eventually evolved beyond his devotion to Kali, and at the right time I will move to the higher levels of understanding as well. I am fortunate in that I've done enough reading and have had enough brief flashes of knowledge to understand that knowledge of the Goddess is not the end...it is a stage in liberation, but not liberation itself.
And I trust Her/He/It enough that I know that if I died today, I would be able to continue my evolution on the higher planes.
October 20, 2006
Several strong bliss experiences yesterday, great closeness to the Goddess. At one time She made a big deal to remind me that her Female form was a mask for the Absolute.
About 3 am this morning, I woke up with strong bliss moving through my body. Goddess was there….She told me that it was time for Her to show me more of Herself, if I would surrender.
So I surrendered, expecting a different flavor of bliss or a new image or mask or something like that.
But that’s not what happened.
All of a sudden, I was surrounded by LIGHT….warm penetrating light, not the Goddess image I’ve been seeing in my mind, but just LIGHT. The bliss ramped up, and indeed it was a different “flavor”….not so much pleasure as just LOVE…for a few seconds the deepest I’ve felt in this whole experience. Then I felt my soul begin to lift out of my body toward the LIGHT…part of my being screamed “YES, take me!!! Dissolve me into You!” but another part of me was scared and screamed “NO!” The LIGHT faded at that point, and the love feeling cut back about 70% although it didn’t go away completely.
Then the image of the Goddess returned and told me that She was putting Her mask back on for now, but that I’d had a glimpse of Her true nature. I felt my heart crack open and it felt like my chest was expanding out several feet. . .I swam in love the rest of the night.
This morning I woke up in a good mood, although I can feel my ego fighting back against what happened.
In later correspondence, he added the following:
I'm increasingly comfortable with the knowledge that the "Goddess" experiences I have been having are "just" a mask that Absolute Love is wearing to make it easier for me to understand Him/Her. She reminds me everyday that this is a mask and that what lies beyond the mask is so much more wonderful than even the brief glimpes I have been given.
And, here is another exchange of ideas on the topic of the goddess as form or formless:
This first paragraph is from me to Cloud:
"...in certain eastern traditions, devotion to the god "without name or form" is considered to be more advanced than worship of the god with form.
I love the goddess also and went through a long term of exploring her nature and essence--but now I simply seek to be one with "it" without giving it a name or image. All of this just came naturally and was appropriate at the time.
I think this is an important key--just to let things unfold on their own, and clearly you are doing this."
And here is Cloud's reply:
She/He/It reminds me every day to trust in Her/He/It and to trust the process...so that's what I'm trying to do.
Although I am exploring the Goddess and essentially letting Her have Her way with me, erotically and otherwise, whenever She wants, I know that this is just a stage in the process and the glory of the Absolute beyond the mask would put to shame even the wonderful joy I have now. As long as I remember that She is a mask for It, I think I'm on the right path.
Ramakrishna, for example, eventually evolved beyond his devotion to Kali, and at the right time I will move to the higher levels of understanding as well. I am fortunate in that I've done enough reading and have had enough brief flashes of knowledge to understand that knowledge of the Goddess is not the end...it is a stage in liberation, but not liberation itself.
And I trust Her/He/It enough that I know that if I died today, I would be able to continue my evolution on the higher planes.
