Friday, October 06, 2006
Cloud of Unknowing Posts His Last Entry
Note: to read all posts from "Cloud of Unknowing," read his poem on 9/20, and then his journal entries, which run from 9/26-10/6.
Here is the final journal entry to be posted for Cloud of Unknowing. The Goddess has informed him that it is no longer appropriate for him to publish his entries, although he will continue to keep his journal for himself, and perhaps,at some future date, publish his account as a book.
His descriptions have given us a close up view of a totally intimate experience, told with honesty and frankness. It is important that we remember that his is only one story among many, and that others experience kundalini awakening in quite different ways. After the energies settle, the feelings can be quite different, more like soft breezes playing over the hands.
Whatever the manifestation, most initiates feel that they have been connected in a vibrant way with the energies of the divine, and that this connection is the culminating experience of their lives.
Here is Cloud's final entry:
October 4, 2006
Another weird day yesterday.
Yesterday morning my wife asked me if the Goddess had a particular face. . .did She look like anyone in particular? I told her that the Goddess takes many different faces for me, but that there was a certain “default” face that She had used with me even back when I was a teenager. This default face was a beautiful dark-haired woman with an athletic body. (Note that this is NOT “my type." But the default is the dark-haired athletic woman.) My wife asked if the Goddess in this form resembled anyone I knew, and I said no, not really. I’d never seen her before.
Last week I felt compelled to order a yoga DVD, and it showed up yesterday afternoon. I opened the package, and on the cover was a woman . . .and she is the face of the Goddess. When I opened the package and saw her, I got a massive charge of energy and an immediate realization that her face was the face that the Goddess had been using as Her default Mask for me, ever since I was a lonely teenager and first reached out to Her 20 years ago.
Now, this does not mean that this woman is the Goddess, at least in any direct sense. But it is clear to me that this yoga thing is something I am supposed to do, that this will be a strong part of my path for me, and that the Goddess has been using her face to send me this message.
Weird, eh? Then things got weirder.
I have been reading Elmer Green’s book "The Ozawkie Book of the Dead." This is a fascinating book and I don’t understand a lot of it just yet. In fact, some of the descriptions made me wonder whether or not I could even trust my "goddess."
After some doubt and confusion, I decided to confront the Goddess directly about this.
This helped calm my doubts. After the dialog, I continued reading Green’s book and found this on page 314:
“...the Kosmic feminine goddess mentioned above is the supplier of energy”, Green referring to the Kosmic goddess as the Divine Mother who guides kundalini energies in people undergoing transformation.
That took away the last doubt. The Goddess has been increasing my energy, giving me more and more. She doesn’t take it from me. At times there is like a circuit or loop between us, where She takes some of my energy but gives me back more, but this leaves me with more energy, not less. She is helping me grow. Yes, She is using Eros as part of the lesson plan, but Love contains Eros, Eros does not contain love. I’m convinced now that the Goddess is truly the Divine Mother (and Lover), and not some sort of bardo-entity trying to suck up my energy.
With this realization, I went into a strong bliss state….in some ways the strongest I’ve felt yet. Then it got painful….painful in my mouth and throat, as if energy was trying to force it’s way past a block of some sort. Then I felt my soul starting to lift out of my body, to join a warm light I could see at the edge of my vision with my eyes closed. This scared the heck out of me, and I called out for my wife. She came in and held me close for awhile, telling me that she loved me. At this point I fell asleep. . .it was about 10 pm.
I then had a very intense dream and woke at 12:30. I wrote down the dream quickly so as not to forget.
The dream:
My wife and I and the kids are out shopping at a strip mall. I go into a coffee shop, while my wife takes the kids down to the next store, a music store.
I go into the coffee shop, order some coffee. While I am waiting, a beautiful flirtatious woman comes and plants a big wet kiss on me. She leaves quickly. I'm a little taken aback, but then the clerk hands me my coffee.
I leave the store and walk down to the next one where my wife and kids are. I drink some coffee. All of a sudden, I feel needles in my mouth....like they were always there before, but after I drank the coffee I could feel them for the first time. I remove one needle...it hurts and there is a little blood. I start to feel more and more of them...I remove them.
I find my wife and show her what is happening. She is a little freaked out at first, but then starts helping me remove the needles in my gums and mouth one by one. Some of them come out easy. Others are more difficult.
My wife suggests I ask the sales clerk at the music store what these things are. I go up to him. It is the character Detective Bobby Goren from the TV show Law in Order Criminal Intent. He gives off the same kind of power and authority that Gary Seven did in my dream a couple of weeks ago. I hand Goren a handful of these needles removed from my mouth and gums. "What are these?" I ask him. He looks at me firmly, and says "You know what they are."
I woke up at that point, with VERY strong energy flows moving through my body and into my mouth. The blockage in my mouth was gone, the energy flowing out through me. As I woke up, I had an image of light and love pouring from my mouth. This faded as I gained consciousness. But now that I'm awake, I have an incredible sense of "light-ness" like I am floating.
My ability to see auras is about 50% better than it was before I went to sleep....I can see them without effort and much stronger than before I slept. And my vision has improved....without my glasses I can see about a foot in front of me clearly, while before I slept I could only see about 6 inches clearly. Something has definitely changed again.
I sat down with my wife and described the dream. At some point, she said something about Edgar Cayce. All of a sudden, I felt the strong presence of the Goddess, and She told me the following words which poured from me in a torrent, almost like channeling.
“Cayce had genuine gifts but the world wasn’t ready to hear his message on a large scale. This is why he did a lot of good for people on a small scale with his healing powers, so that some would believe, but it is also why he was given false information regarding prophecies which have not come true, so that the number of people who believed him during his life would be small. If his bigger prophecies had come true too quickly, too many people would have believed him before humanity was ready, before the Earth was ready for full spiritualization. If that had happened too quickly, the Plan would have been upset with negative consequences. But the time is approaching very quickly, and soon the Earth will be ready for the next phase.”
I don’t know what that means…maybe the Mayans are right and the new era begins in 2012.
Good luck on your journey, Cloud. May the goddess lead you to more and more discoveries and new levels of spiritual adventure!
Here is the final journal entry to be posted for Cloud of Unknowing. The Goddess has informed him that it is no longer appropriate for him to publish his entries, although he will continue to keep his journal for himself, and perhaps,at some future date, publish his account as a book.
His descriptions have given us a close up view of a totally intimate experience, told with honesty and frankness. It is important that we remember that his is only one story among many, and that others experience kundalini awakening in quite different ways. After the energies settle, the feelings can be quite different, more like soft breezes playing over the hands.
Whatever the manifestation, most initiates feel that they have been connected in a vibrant way with the energies of the divine, and that this connection is the culminating experience of their lives.
Here is Cloud's final entry:
October 4, 2006
Another weird day yesterday.
Yesterday morning my wife asked me if the Goddess had a particular face. . .did She look like anyone in particular? I told her that the Goddess takes many different faces for me, but that there was a certain “default” face that She had used with me even back when I was a teenager. This default face was a beautiful dark-haired woman with an athletic body. (Note that this is NOT “my type." But the default is the dark-haired athletic woman.) My wife asked if the Goddess in this form resembled anyone I knew, and I said no, not really. I’d never seen her before.
Last week I felt compelled to order a yoga DVD, and it showed up yesterday afternoon. I opened the package, and on the cover was a woman . . .and she is the face of the Goddess. When I opened the package and saw her, I got a massive charge of energy and an immediate realization that her face was the face that the Goddess had been using as Her default Mask for me, ever since I was a lonely teenager and first reached out to Her 20 years ago.
Now, this does not mean that this woman is the Goddess, at least in any direct sense. But it is clear to me that this yoga thing is something I am supposed to do, that this will be a strong part of my path for me, and that the Goddess has been using her face to send me this message.
Weird, eh? Then things got weirder.
I have been reading Elmer Green’s book "The Ozawkie Book of the Dead." This is a fascinating book and I don’t understand a lot of it just yet. In fact, some of the descriptions made me wonder whether or not I could even trust my "goddess."
After some doubt and confusion, I decided to confront the Goddess directly about this.
This helped calm my doubts. After the dialog, I continued reading Green’s book and found this on page 314:
“...the Kosmic feminine goddess mentioned above is the supplier of energy”, Green referring to the Kosmic goddess as the Divine Mother who guides kundalini energies in people undergoing transformation.
That took away the last doubt. The Goddess has been increasing my energy, giving me more and more. She doesn’t take it from me. At times there is like a circuit or loop between us, where She takes some of my energy but gives me back more, but this leaves me with more energy, not less. She is helping me grow. Yes, She is using Eros as part of the lesson plan, but Love contains Eros, Eros does not contain love. I’m convinced now that the Goddess is truly the Divine Mother (and Lover), and not some sort of bardo-entity trying to suck up my energy.
With this realization, I went into a strong bliss state….in some ways the strongest I’ve felt yet. Then it got painful….painful in my mouth and throat, as if energy was trying to force it’s way past a block of some sort. Then I felt my soul starting to lift out of my body, to join a warm light I could see at the edge of my vision with my eyes closed. This scared the heck out of me, and I called out for my wife. She came in and held me close for awhile, telling me that she loved me. At this point I fell asleep. . .it was about 10 pm.
I then had a very intense dream and woke at 12:30. I wrote down the dream quickly so as not to forget.
The dream:
My wife and I and the kids are out shopping at a strip mall. I go into a coffee shop, while my wife takes the kids down to the next store, a music store.
I go into the coffee shop, order some coffee. While I am waiting, a beautiful flirtatious woman comes and plants a big wet kiss on me. She leaves quickly. I'm a little taken aback, but then the clerk hands me my coffee.
I leave the store and walk down to the next one where my wife and kids are. I drink some coffee. All of a sudden, I feel needles in my mouth....like they were always there before, but after I drank the coffee I could feel them for the first time. I remove one needle...it hurts and there is a little blood. I start to feel more and more of them...I remove them.
I find my wife and show her what is happening. She is a little freaked out at first, but then starts helping me remove the needles in my gums and mouth one by one. Some of them come out easy. Others are more difficult.
My wife suggests I ask the sales clerk at the music store what these things are. I go up to him. It is the character Detective Bobby Goren from the TV show Law in Order Criminal Intent. He gives off the same kind of power and authority that Gary Seven did in my dream a couple of weeks ago. I hand Goren a handful of these needles removed from my mouth and gums. "What are these?" I ask him. He looks at me firmly, and says "You know what they are."
I woke up at that point, with VERY strong energy flows moving through my body and into my mouth. The blockage in my mouth was gone, the energy flowing out through me. As I woke up, I had an image of light and love pouring from my mouth. This faded as I gained consciousness. But now that I'm awake, I have an incredible sense of "light-ness" like I am floating.
My ability to see auras is about 50% better than it was before I went to sleep....I can see them without effort and much stronger than before I slept. And my vision has improved....without my glasses I can see about a foot in front of me clearly, while before I slept I could only see about 6 inches clearly. Something has definitely changed again.
I sat down with my wife and described the dream. At some point, she said something about Edgar Cayce. All of a sudden, I felt the strong presence of the Goddess, and She told me the following words which poured from me in a torrent, almost like channeling.
“Cayce had genuine gifts but the world wasn’t ready to hear his message on a large scale. This is why he did a lot of good for people on a small scale with his healing powers, so that some would believe, but it is also why he was given false information regarding prophecies which have not come true, so that the number of people who believed him during his life would be small. If his bigger prophecies had come true too quickly, too many people would have believed him before humanity was ready, before the Earth was ready for full spiritualization. If that had happened too quickly, the Plan would have been upset with negative consequences. But the time is approaching very quickly, and soon the Earth will be ready for the next phase.”
I don’t know what that means…maybe the Mayans are right and the new era begins in 2012.
Good luck on your journey, Cloud. May the goddess lead you to more and more discoveries and new levels of spiritual adventure!
