Kundalini Splendor

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Cloud of Unknowing Writes on Ego and Integration 

Here is a very interesting exchange between "Cloud" and the Goddess, who speaks wisely about the role of the subconscious and the ego and the need to integrate the various strands of his experience.

October 30, 2006


The Goddess awoke me at 1 AM, to summarize the meaning of our dreamwork in a state where I could write it down and remember it and possibly share it with others. I don’t remember the dreams that led to this conversation, but I remember the conversation we had after I awoke.

Me: I love you.

Goddess: I love you, too.

Me: I doubt you still.

Goddess: I know. That’s fine…doubt is part of the learning process. Doubt is how you learn more about Me. You have a powerful analytical mind…I don’t ask you to shut it off. It has served you well for years. I only ask it to listen to Me when I speak, and to listen to what the feeling, experiencing part of your mind says as well. You need to use both your left brain and your right brain, and they need to learn from each other.

Me: I’m listening.

Goddess: So am I. Ask your questions.

Me: Are you merely my subconscious mind?

Goddess: Yes. I am your subconscious but there is nothing “mere” about it. I am also part of your conscious mind, and the totality of your supra-conscious mind. Remember, these are all parts of you, and you are part of Me, so of course they are parts of Me as well.

Me: The ego is part of my mind as well.

Goddess: Yes. The fear-ego is also a part of the human mind, a very powerful and important part that serves a protective function, especially early in physical life. But eventually you reach the point where the power of fear stops serving you in the way it should, and you begin to serve it. At this stage I development, you need to outgrow it, through Love, as I have explained before.

Me: But even after I outgrow ego and its fears, it will still exist.

Goddess: Yes, as long as you exist on this material plane, the fear-ego will still exist in some form. And it NEEDS to…it is the part of you that prevents you from getting hit by a bus or putting your hand on a hot stove. The point is that as you grow spiritually and begin to realize your true nature as a being of energy and light and love, you learn how to make your fear-ego serve you, not the other way around. You learn to put it in its proper place.

Me: And it now strikes me that the sex-ego is related to the fear-ego…the sex-ego is the positive side of the life force, the part that embraces life rather than fears it.

Goddess: Yes. You need the sex-ego as much as you need the fear-ego. These energies are necessary for survival on this plane, not just in the sense of propagating the species on the macro level, but in the sense of tending the body, providing positive physical stimulation and joy, and in bringing you closer to other people. Sex is also a preview, if you will, of the kind of energy and thought communication between souls that occur on the higher Planes. And like the fear-ego, sex is a very powerful thing that can help open your soul to others, and to Me, but it can also overwhelm you and stall your progress if you misunderstand it. But as you grow spiritually, you learn to put sex in its place as part of life on this plane, certainly a wonderful and glorious part, but only a foretaste of what is to come, not as an obsession that distorts your perspective.

Me: And just as you are helping me put the fear-ego in its proper place, you are helping me put sex in its proper place as well, as an adjunct of love.

Goddess: Yes, sex is an adjunct and form of, a frequency if you will, of Love Energy Herself. And part of growing into this knowledge about the proper place of sex is by being totally honest about it, with yourself, with your wife, and with Me. This is something you’ve always been afraid of since you hit puberty. In working through these issues so directly, I am helping you understand the proper place of both your fears and your sexuality within the totality of your being.

Me: Yet part of me knows that in the BIG picture, all of this is an illusion…that in the big picture, the only thing that REALLY exists is You, and that someday I will be dissolved into You completely and utterly.

Goddess: Yes. You have had tiny, brief glimpses of what this is will be like. . .just enough tastes of Me, if you will, to keep you interested!

Me: Why do you want me to join with You?

Goddess: My Beloved creation, I heard your prayer eons ago to draw you closer to Me, to return to Me, and eventually merge with Me. All of this, all of these experiences and incarnate lives and struggles and pains and terrors and joys and glories, all of this, is necessary for the process of reunion with Me.

Ultimately, my Beloved creation, you will remember that you and I were together this whole time. . .you never really left Me. The process of “enlightenment”, or “kundalini awakening,”, or “purification,” or whatever you want to call it, is the process of REMEMBERING who and what you are. You are a thought in the mind of God, a cell in the body of Goddess, a spark of love and light and pure consciousness moving eternally in the great wave of energetic love that flows through all creation, that Is all creation. For a brief moment in eternity, you forgot who you are. I am helping you remember.

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