Kundalini Splendor

Recently, I attended an evening "sacred sound circle" offered by Janet Ryan, a gifted sound healer in our area. Before the event began, I received "deeksha" from a woman who had recently learned to offer this transmission during a three week stay in India with Bhagavan and Amma, a couple who have taken on the divine mission of spreading deeksha throughout the world. The word "deeksha" (often spelled "diksha") is an ancient Sanskrit term meaning (basically) initiation. In this contemporary context, it refers to energy transmission through the laying on of hands. Apparently, more and more people are going to India for the period of purification and initiation and bringing the technique back to their countries of origin. And, further, anyone who receives deeksha is then empowered to give it to others. The hope is that this sacred energy will ultimately transform the planet, and bring about universal elevation of consciousness.

As the "giver" placed her hands on my head and then on my shoulders, I felt, first, heat, and, later, an overall sense of well being or balancing. It was a pleasant but not a blissful experience.

Then the evening ceremony began. First, we did simple relaxation exercises to prepare ourselves to enter fully into the spirit of the evening. We then did toning, an exercise in which one emits any sound one wishes, whether it is a musical tone or some other sound (caws, grunts and growls are some of the noises some people produce.) During this exercise I heard a male voice from across the room more or less singing in what was, I am prepared to say, the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. When I asked Janet about it later, she said that yes, this man was a former opera singer.

Janet now began to sound her gorgeous Tibetan and crystal bowls, producing exquisite tones resonating the entire room. I was enjoying all of this hugely, but in a state which was still essentially grounded, when she played a CD containing the Sanskrit chant which begins with "Jai Ram, Shree Ram." That did it. It often happens (for me), that Sanskrit chanting (particularly this phrase) throws me into high bliss, and I now was feeling ready to float upward toward the ceiling. I was, in fact, in an extremely altered state of consciousness, pure ecstasy, something I had not felt for many weeks (when Janet came to my house in December to do a sound session.)

However, the next morning when I woke up, I was soon quite ill (gastrointestinal difficulties.) But the "high" came back and lasted through the day. (This is the condition (for me) when I can feel exquisite energies flow by moving my fingers or eyes ever so slightly. I always marvel that this condition can occur.)

The following day, I felt quite well, in a state of balanced health and well being. But the gastrointestinal problems returned the day after that, and then a pattern developed for several days--one day of feeling fine, one day of feeling ill.

Were the energies excessive for my system? Why (for me ) is a high state of consciousness so often followed by a low? Why does this pattern occur for me and certain others, but not for everyone?

Who knows? Kundalini, as always, is the great Mystery, the unfathomable blessing which comes at a cost. Yet, despite the penalty, I would not give up the experience it offers, for it is rare and precious despite the price it exacts.

And, as always, I reflect that if we could remain in one state or the other (elevated consciousness vs. "normal" consciousness), these problems would not occur. It is the traveling back and forth which seems to bring about the trouble. And then I conclude that an occasional taste of paradise is well worth the price, for life on the "normal" plane alone would be a dull existence indeed.