Monday, March 08, 2010
Normandie Ellis, in her marvelous book "Awakening Osiris," has a memorable sentence: "Some days it is easier to commune with the gods than others."
Today was such a day for me. Usually I do my practice the first thing after I get up, but this morning I needed to check with the apartment manager on something and went downstairs to confer with him. While I was there, I met and talked with other residents of the complex. Then, when I went back to my apartment and started my practice, there was loud talk and the sounds of doors slamming in the hallway (usually extremely quiet).
The result was that I wasn't able to concentrate very well--the energies were barely discernible. I kept trying other music to see if that would help, but nothing seemed to change.
In addition, today is overcast, with high atmospheric pressure, a condition that often creates (for me) sinus pressure, making it even more difficult to see, especially at the computer.
i thought I would report these events lest others imagine that every single day in my life is filled with ecstasy and delight. Actually, I feel fine, but just wanted to add (for the record) that this is "one of those days" when nothing seems to carry you to the heights you have so recently experienced.
Kundalini is mysterious and unpredictable. It must be treasured and nourished carefully to attain the best results.
But of course, we must enter each meditation with "no expectations," and be grateful for the gifts that are granted. With this, as with all other human experiences, it "can't be Christmas every day," (at least for most of us.)
Here are some lines from Kabir that seem to mirror my state (though I am not as disturbed as he seems to be in the poem):
My heart cries aloud for the house of my lover...
My heart finds no joy in anything:
My mind and my body are distraught.
His palace has a thousand gates
but there is a vast ocean between it and me....
Kabir says: "Listen to me! My heart
is eager to meet my lover.
I lie sleepless upon my bed.
Remember me early in the morning!"
(I thought the last line was especially apt. To meditate well, we need to go to the "Lover" early in the morning, before the interruptions of the day intervene and disrupt the deep concentration such experiences require. At least, this is true for me.)
By the way, "Awakening Osiris" is a an amazing and wonderful book. It is based on the "Egyptian Book of the Dead" and is cast in a most poetic and moving version, very different from other versions.