Saturday, March 19, 2011
When Things Settle Down
I am now approaching the 30th anniversary of my awakening experience. I have kept a record of my progress through the many stages of this transformation, in part so that I (and others) might know what it feels like to undergo this most mysterious and sacred process of "turning to light."
If I had to describe the changes that have occurred over these many years, especially those connected with how the energies themselves "feel"and how these have transformed over time, I would say this:
In the initial stages (and these continued over many years--ten or fifteen or more)--I experienced deep bliss that--for me--was more like ecstasy itself (in the Hedy Lamar sense--sensuous, flowing, exquisitely enlivening--but never sexual in the usual sense of that term). Always, the energies flowed throughout the system, including the entire body from feet to crown.
Then--for a few years--the experience of rapture occurred less frequently, but often I was surprised to find delightful bliss flows throughout--often in hands, arms, chest, or (around) the head. These sensations were exquisite, but of a different quality from those of the beginning.
And now--for the last few years--the sensations are even less frequent, and of a gentler, more subtle tone. I am always surprised that they manifest at all--indeed, I celebrated my 83rd birthday this week, and this morning, as I did my simple standing movement practice, I again felt these now extremely soft and sweet energies within--as ever, I noticed them especially in my wrists and elbows (don't know why). I suspect that what I now feel is more akin to prana rather than kundalini itself.
In some ways, one misses the earlier times of "deep love making" with the Beloved Within. In others, one is grateful to have come, at last, into "safe harbor," encountering fewer "ups and downs," but rather proceeding in one's life with a sense of "coming home" at last, where safety and sanctuary await. Further, this is the time of "giving back," of "bringing the gift back home"-- now one can turn one's attention to helping others coming along the same path.
I feel that at this stage a foremost concern is to stay as alive and healthy as possible. Exercise, diet, and in general attending to the physical body now become especially important. So--after I did my morning practice, I set out for an hour's walk along the creek, which is still waiting for spring to come forth. And indeed, I felt blessed to be included in this all important process (of Kundalini awakening), which I believe is a key to the great "shift" of consciousness so much talked of today.
Everyone is, of course, different in the way that kundalini unfolds within their system. For some, the process is soon over, almost as if nothing has happened. For others, the awakening continues over many years, as the system seeks to balance and adjust. Some experience bliss punctuated by intervals of pain and discomfort. Some never realize the bliss, but encounter continuing pain. Each person is different in their makeup, and it seems that past history, particularly unresolved emotional and physical issues, as well as current life stressors, play a big role. Ultimately, it appears likely that grace itself plays a role, granting the states of bliss consciousness to some and not others, for as yet unknown reasons.
(image from google)
