Monday, June 27, 2016
I deeply resonated with this post and its observations about creating a "shield" over the heart. Many of us, even if we did not experience actual abuse in childhood, did not have this fundamental need of attunement with our mothers met. Instead, we learned early on that our emotional needs would be unanswered and as a result we learn to close down to any open revelation of the heart with other people. On the surface, we do manifest compassion and gratitude for the gifts that others give us, but there is always a shield around the heart, for we fear to make ourselves vulnerable to false hopes––always a sense that even if the other offers love and affection, that "really they don't mean it" or "I don't really deserve this."
As a result, we may go through life with a sense of a necessary distancing––a protective reserve––with other, less constricted souls. Only when one feels totally safe––as with a totally trusted lover or––in fact––the Beloved Within––does one feel comfortable to open up to true inner feelings of love. It is then that the energy body––closed tightly for so long––can at last open and love streams can pour in.
Kundalini, in its purest and most sensuous form––then becomes the all accepting, totally embracing Lover, for that Lover is, in fact, God (the term we use for that divine Presence.)
This Presence is not a fiction. It is a reality––the Love Energy that propels the world into being and sustains it eternally.
This connection is what we hunger for, the source we wish to be nourished by, the ultimate reality of who we are. It is beautiful.
The following is from Willow, a very wise woman:
One of the fundamental needs we have as a young child, and continuing all the way through adulthood, is attunement. Attunement happens when the caregiver “gets” the child. Imagine a mother is holding her toddler, and the toddler wiggles to get down. When the mother let’s the child down she is in tune with the energy and needs of the child. Frequent mis-attunement can lead to a damaged sense of self, which can create negative beliefs around feeling unworthy and unvalued and unsafe.
Many years ago I worked with a client who told me the story of her first period. Her mother was notoriously unavailable, being emotionally shut down, working full time, and going to collage. The client asked several times for her mom’s attention. When the mother finally listened to the report of the period starting, she replied by saying: “Oh, I hope you are taking care of it.” The client did not know how to “take care of it!” Since the mother was unable to attune to both the client’s emotional and physical needs, she turned to her older sister for support.
In the session the client talked about the wave of shame and embarrassment she felt because of her mother’s lack of attunement. The client described how she retreated deep into her heart chakra and created an energetic shield over her heart. We began to work on her heart. Inside we found a young one hiding deep within. The little one asked: “How did you find me?” She was reluctant to be seen or contacted, so we acknowledged her fear and desire to hide. Then the little one reached out her hand for connection, then jumped in the lap of the client for a hug.
The client’s continuing work was to stay connected with the little one and attune to her needs.
from Willow's blog site