Friday, July 22, 2016
Rapture Returns
Often we experience "dry spells" in our spiritual practice. Nothing seems to be happening. We wonder if the magic has gone out of our lives and if we will ever experience sweet transcendence again.
Like many saints who have gone through such arid periods, we wonder if somehow the inner Lover has forsaken us, if somehow we "didn't do it right," or even, in the case of some Christian saints, if god has turned his back on us.
Then, suddenly it all comes back. Once more we experience unconditional love, the sense of divine union, exultation of spirit. And, even more, rapture flowing through our bodies as every pore and cell dances in ecstatic joy.
This was my experience yesterday. It was with me from the moment I woke up. I did my very simple but wondrous practice of moving my hands in circles near my body (about 8 inches away) and each movement awakened intense somatic rapture. As one person commented, "Oh, I get it. This is like sex, only different." Indeed this is sublimated energy, natural energy transmuted to purely spiritual energy. Exquisite, but something that is more than notions in the head, beyond thought: it is pure feeling. And we know once again that this is the essence of who we truly are.
What bought about this bliss? Some very good news for me. I was planning to move into a different apartment, one that was very nice but lacked the view and sense of connection with the outdoors that I have where I presently live. But at the last moment, I realized that this was not good for me, for I spend much of the winter inside, as the snow mounts and the ice forms. I feared I would become claustrophobic in this situation, with nothing to see but a wooden wall outside.
By the grace of the goddess, my present address was still available, though prospective renters had already come by to check it out. I was "saved" by, I believe, an act of grace, which enabled me to breath freely once more and to reconnect with my dear Beloved Within. As always, we sealed our bond with a kiss.
Here is a poem I wrote several years ago about a similar experience:
Like many saints who have gone through such arid periods, we wonder if somehow the inner Lover has forsaken us, if somehow we "didn't do it right," or even, in the case of some Christian saints, if god has turned his back on us.
Then, suddenly it all comes back. Once more we experience unconditional love, the sense of divine union, exultation of spirit. And, even more, rapture flowing through our bodies as every pore and cell dances in ecstatic joy.
This was my experience yesterday. It was with me from the moment I woke up. I did my very simple but wondrous practice of moving my hands in circles near my body (about 8 inches away) and each movement awakened intense somatic rapture. As one person commented, "Oh, I get it. This is like sex, only different." Indeed this is sublimated energy, natural energy transmuted to purely spiritual energy. Exquisite, but something that is more than notions in the head, beyond thought: it is pure feeling. And we know once again that this is the essence of who we truly are.
What bought about this bliss? Some very good news for me. I was planning to move into a different apartment, one that was very nice but lacked the view and sense of connection with the outdoors that I have where I presently live. But at the last moment, I realized that this was not good for me, for I spend much of the winter inside, as the snow mounts and the ice forms. I feared I would become claustrophobic in this situation, with nothing to see but a wooden wall outside.
By the grace of the goddess, my present address was still available, though prospective renters had already come by to check it out. I was "saved" by, I believe, an act of grace, which enabled me to breath freely once more and to reconnect with my dear Beloved Within. As always, we sealed our bond with a kiss.
Here is a poem I wrote several years ago about a similar experience:
KUNDALINI RETURNING AT THE SEASIDE
Ah, well, old rover,
you’ve come back again.
Won’t ask where you’ve been,
what company you’ve been keeping—
whether idling with some other tramp ready and willing
then wondering what she has
let herself in for,
or else a pious type
praying all night for a sign which finally comes,
moves in forever demanding ardor, what then?
Whatever, I’m not jealous,
just glad you’re home,
we wantons like
to take what comes,
and seize the day
whether it arrives
dressed in the latest look
or tattered rags,
summoned by some bar room tune or
majestic concert in a hall.
As long as it is the familiar you.
As long as you knock and enter,
take up residence once again
Ah, well, old rover,
you’ve come back again.
Won’t ask where you’ve been,
what company you’ve been keeping—
whether idling with some other tramp ready and willing
then wondering what she has
let herself in for,
or else a pious type
praying all night for a sign which finally comes,
moves in forever demanding ardor, what then?
Whatever, I’m not jealous,
just glad you’re home,
we wantons like
to take what comes,
and seize the day
whether it arrives
dressed in the latest look
or tattered rags,
summoned by some bar room tune or
majestic concert in a hall.
As long as it is the familiar you.
As long as you knock and enter,
take up residence once again
as if you’d never left,
all promises and supplication as before.
Dorothy Walters
from "A Cloth of Fine Gold"
now included in "Some Kiss We Want: Poems Selected and New"
all promises and supplication as before.
Dorothy Walters
from "A Cloth of Fine Gold"
now included in "Some Kiss We Want: Poems Selected and New"
