Kundalini Splendor

Often after the euphoria of the first awakening occurs, we must go back and deal with other still unresolved issues.  Lilla here writes about some of the difficulties she is now encountering.  This description is important, lest we might imagine that Kundalini brings only ecstasy and joy.  The whole nervous system has to be redone, and this part is never really easy.

Some Difficulties Along the Way

How delicious to hear from you. I don't know what's wrong with the blog address, it hasn't changed. I know that blog addresses need to be type in full to get a hit like this: https://kundalini-grace.blogspot.fr/.

Silktransit is me, this is a pseudo I chose when I signed up for Skype in 2006 and when I write a poem to Mother, this is how I sign it.

It's Unmasking the Rose I ordered then it was cancelled. I'd be delighted if you could send me a copy of your memoirs!

At the moment the kriyas are having a chronic fatique effect on the organism and lots of emotional, physical and mental layers are loosened. The body and mind and heart is like in a grip, collapsed, spasming.

Whenever I can I lie down. Or I'm literally forced to the ground and body / mind is incapacitated. After that there are hand movements and vocalizations. For hours or days loving emptiness and spaciousness. Sometimes dis-identification or detachment but love is always there
It's hard to describe as there's no subject that's there so it cannot really be dis-identified or detached from anything, it's rather a unification but without anyone being there..

Last Friday Mother had me turn from left to right like the whirling dervishes until my right hip was too sore to be able to stand. It was an hour before I finished work. I was in a classroom alone installing a software. I didn't get dizzy or nauseous at all. I lay down and felt the turning sensations subside in a few seconds. I got up. The middle part of the body felt empty, hollowed, spacious.

I tell my son when I need rest and so far this has worked. I take him out to the lake whenever I have enough strength. This is what I did this afternoon. I told him Id be lying down on the beach while he played. He wanted to show me something. I didn't turn my head but asked him if he could come to the other side so that I can see what he was showing. My eyes were closed.

I heard him talk in a mocking voice imitating what I had just said to him. Then he said "I'll throw a stone in your eye". I said to him, baby that's talking silly. The next moment my head got hit with a stone he threw at me.

I'm in a kind of emotional numbness mixed with anger, sadness, despair, sorrow and I feel something is collapsing and this already makes me feel lighter, freer and there's immense "I don't give a damn" and then there's the alive emptiness. Then Mother does what she wants and this is absolutely fine with me.